Breaking Twilight
by Laid Bare
Summary: Cassandra Clarkson is like every normal sixteen year old: she's stubborn, shes a pain-in-the-arse and she is also in love with Edwaard Cullen, a fiction vampire. or so she thought, until she moves to Ireland and finds herself in a world like no other...x
1. Author

hi lisa here! i'm just going to write my thanks to:

Kelly. without you i would have never found Edward. you are both a curse and a gift.

Kasia. if it weren't for you, i would have never made it past chapter one.

Chanta. for making sure i never forgot Jacob, even when i wanted to.

Sara. for being you. do i need another reason?

Shakhi. fo letting me have Edward on the weekends.

Stephenie Meyer. thank to you i am now an Edward Cullen addict. without you, i would be half way normal. so thank you, really. (no, really i mean it.)

My Parents. without i would never have been alive to write this book. for all the money you spent on vampire books. and for not sending me to the nut house.

Thank you all. this book is for you and all those who dream about being bella. x

"Being in night, all this is but a dream,  
too flattering-sweet to be substantial."  
Romeo and Juliet. Act two, Scene two.

Meaning: "This is only a dream, too wonderful to be real." 


	2. preface

This is not how it happened in the book.

Was it supposed to end like this? It would be different if it were me, lying cold and lifeless, but it's not, it's someone I care about.

I wait for the tears, for the aching in my chest, but they don't come.

I hear noises and see faces, but their meaningless blurs, all my mind can register is the pale, limp figure on the floor, the body twisted at an angle too awkward to be sleeping.

I still can't cry. Is there something wrong with me? Am I really the cold heartless bitch I made myself out to be?

Hands try to pull me away; voices try to convince me it's going to be all right. But it's not. How can it be?

It's all my fault.

A single tear finally falls before the blackness consumes me.

***


	3. Chapter 1

Chapter one: The beginning.

I stared at the baby pink walls of my new room, a feeling of imprisonment swept over me, as I glared out my window.

Even from the blurred vision of tears, I could see miles of green luscious fields, the fields only found in the emerald island: Ireland.

I didn't want to come here, I still don't, but my protests where ignored, my things packed and my arse kicked all the way over the Irish Sea. The vibrant shades of green where alien to me compared to the dull, washed out greys of the streets of London, unnatural. With a sigh, I walked over towards my hello kitty double bed, as I did so, I caught a glimpse of my refection of the window glass:

My skin was pale to the extreme, but that was from lack of sleep. My dark brown eyes, black almost, where framed with puffy red skin that only crying could do and my dark brown curly hair was in a messy bun that haven't been washed or brushed since the day I departed England. My size ten-tracksuit bottoms were starting to feel too roomy for my liking, yet my top still felt strained against my chest.

I sat on my comfy bed, my shoulders resting against my fluffy pillow, the smell of home still lingered here; lemon shampoo, perfume and pollution.

I opened up a shabby book form my bedside table and read form where I last stopped.

"_You are my life now."_ I snapped the book shut in frustration, loved twilight, but I couldn't help but feel jealous; a clumsy human girl, Bella, moves to her dad's and falls in love with Edward Cullen.

Edward is a vegetarian vampire who lives with his family, rebelling against their own nature to drink human blood. Anyway long story short: Bella and Edward are both vampires in the end and live happily ever after in the forth and last book.

What I wanted was to find my own Edward Cullen – no Edward Cullen himself. But please! Vampires that sparkle in the sun? Yep, I should be so lucky.

With another frustrated sigh, I walked down the stairs, away from the attic that was my new bedroom, and down to the kitchen, only to find my mother humming along to the radio.

She looked up as I entered, a small smile on her face.

"Who are you?" she asked, "I used to have a daughter just like you, but I haven't seen from her in three days." Her smile reaching her dark brown eyes – my eyes.

My mother looked a lot like me: full lips, dark eyes, curly brown hair, same hourglass figure, along with a sense of humour.

The only difference was she had a golden tan, while I was pale.

I ignored her, walking over to the fridge and peering in.

"Is there anything in to eat?" I asked as I moved some eggs aside.

"You're dad went into town with Matt and Justin, they'll be back in a while." Matt and Justin where my brothers, Justin being the oldest, took on the responsibility for being a right pain, oh and breaking the many heart of young and foolish girls. Matt was the youngest and defiantly the weirdest; he spends most of his day locked in his room doing some science experiment or math equation, which in my opinion, was not normal. Well neither is falling in love with a vampire from a book, so unlike Justin, I don't tease my baby brother.

So I was surprised that dad had managed to pry Matt away from blowing up the house to go shopping.

"You're father promised to buy Matt some chemistry set… something like that anyway." Reading my mind, she glanced down at her watch. "Back soon." She repeated, like if you say it enough times, it'll come true. I shook my head and ascended to the bathroom, both my brothers and I were due to start school tomorrow, and I didn't want to go in looking like a mess, but for all I knew the fashion here could be wearing dungarees and straw hats.

I removed my clothes and stepped into the steaming hot shower, the drops of water pelted down on my skin, soothing muscles and cleansing my body, the final patches of soap lingering around the plughole.

Once dry and dressed with my hair wrapped in a towel, did I slowly walk down the stairs to meet my family.

"Aahh! Sleeping beauty finally arises." Says my father in mock surprise, as he unloaded tesco bags full of fruit and tinned vegetables.

"Look, look Cass! Look!" Matt came running at me from nowhere, carrying a large book in his small arms. "Dad bought me a new book: _The mathematicians guide to quantum physics._" His eyes where lit up like a blind man being told he could see again, in a really weird way.

"That great Matt." I beamed at him, ruffling his blonde hair.

Both Matt and Justin looked like our Dad; blonde, blue-eyed and tanned. Though Matt wasn't muscular like his father or elder brother, he was more taller and boyish looking, though I doubt that eleven year olds get muscles

Dinner was it's usual active event, what with Justin and dad talking aimlessly about football and whatever sports they could think off, while Matt explained to a very confused mum why he wanted to compare both Irish and English soil.

"…it's about the level of acid from acid rain that …" he tried once again to speak in lay terms.

I was the first to finish my dinner; I wasn't one of those girls that cowered at the sight of anything over two hundred calories, but I wasn't one of those girls who could eat whatever they wanted and not let it show.

"I'm going for a run." I muttered to anyone who cared to listen, I used to run around our street back in England, so I fell into that pattern from our five days here.

It was drizzling outside, at least the weather wasn't different from London, and cold drops of rain hit my head, making dark spots on my clothes. I lost track of time, but from what little sun we had today disappeared into the horizon, did I stop and made my way back home.

The shower was free so I decided to have another one, not as long but wanted just as much, I probably would've stayed longer but Justin needed a piss.

I didn't sleep well that night, what with the absence of traffic noises and the occasional dunk singing, but the soothing sound of rain did ease me into what little sleep I had.

Though I would never admit it, there was an upside to moving Ireland, I got to leave my school uniform behind and wear my own, more comfortable clothes. I wore dark blue jeans with a white button down front, which I thought flattered my figure, and flat black boots (no heal, they always make me lose my balance) and my hair hung loose around my shoulders, a curly fame of my face.

Dad whistled as I descended down the stairs, bringing a small blush to my cheeks. Justin scowled but didn't say anything; he obviously didn't find anything wrong with my outfit.

Justin drove us to school in silence, dropping Matt of first, before parking in St. Mary's school parking lot.

Both Justin and I walked to the main office, receiving the occasional stare, in silence; we only talked to each other if there were swear words involved.

The school office was a cluttered little room with pale green walls that was donned with posters and certificates, a middle-aged woman with greying dull blonde hair, peered over at us from her large glasses.

"Justin and Cassandra Clarkson?" she barked, her voice sharp and business like. Both Justin and I nodded wordlessly, taking the school papers she handed to us. As we were leaving, I noticed her eyeing us critically, probably for some gossip to spill in the staff room.

Once outside, I looked down at my timetable:

Science, art, maths, English gym and history.

I reluctantly turned to my map of the school, as I tried to figure the complicated paths and classes of this maze of a school. After getting lost God know how many times, and bumping into several people due to my nose being almost glued to the stupid piece of paper, did I finally ask someone for help.

I made it seconds before the class bell started to shriek, all eyes turned to me, all filled with the same curiosity that sent an automatic blush to my cheeks.

Mr. Greene sent me to an empty desk with a polite smile and begun the lesson. Time neither few or stood still, but I was soon moving to the sound of the school bell, packing my book back into my bag when I heard a confident voice say

"You're Cassandra, right?" she was a tall unnatural blonde with strange grey eyes; I think her name was Kerry.

"Cassie." I corrected.

"Oh, right." She looked a bit embarrassed for a fraction of a moment, before continuing. "Well, I'm Kelly, I was just wondering…if you don't have anyone to sit by – you could sit by us. My friends and me, that is." I was taken off guard by the sudden kindness, that I was hesitant to answer.

"Yeah, that'll be cool – thanks Kelly." I received a lip glossed smile from Kelly before she turned and left the room.

Both art and maths were almost a blur, I remembered taking down notes and having polite conversations with students brave enough to introduce themselves to me, that I was soon being led by Tom, an attractive guy with nice green eyes, to the lunch hall.

"Cassie!" I heard a familier voice yell, Kelly, from somewhere to my right. "Oh," she said when she saw who I was with, "I see you've met Tom." She beamed at him, to which he answered with a friendly smile. "I've saved you a seat." She told me as she pulled me along towards an already crowded table.

As I approached, I saw Justin, who scowled in my direction; his action was soon mimicked by some blonde stick insects that ogled at him over their creaser salads.

"Food court's over there." She pointed towards a salad bar and walked towards her seat.

Once I got my so-called lunch I took the seat next to Kelly, I noted the fact that Tom and some of his friends joined our table, laughing loudly and talking amongst themselves.

It was then, that I received, what I believe was, the fright of my life.

There were five of them, three guys and two girls.

One of the guys was a serious body builder, putting Justin to shame, with curly dark hair that was almost black. Another was lean with honey gold hair, his expression looked almost pained.

Beside the golden-haired boy was a pixie-looking girl with a halo of inky black hair, her body slim and willowy to the extreme. The other girl was a blonde angel, her wavy hair ending at the middle of her back. Last but not least there was a bronze haired boy, who had a more boyish figure than the other two guys, his eyes cast down. What I noticed about all of them was they're pale skin, really pale, and dark eyes with purple shadows underneath.

"Cass, are you alright?" Kelly's voice sounded concerned, causing the bronze haired boy to look up, his coal black eyes shifted from Kelly to me and back down again, dissatisfied.

"Who are they?" I asked, she knew from my voice who I was talking about.

"Oh, they're Dr. Cullen's adoptive kids, the two blonde ones are Rosalie and Jasper Hale and the two dark haired ones are Alice and Emmett Cullen."

"And the other one?" I asked, I felt sick, this was not happening.

"Edward Cullen… but I'd rather call him gorgeous. They moved here from somewhere in America about one or two years ago." She paused; something must have shown on my face because concern returned to her tone.

"Hey, are you sure you're alright?"

"No, I … I don't feel to good." My voice shook, this had to be some sick joke, whatever it was, I wanted to get out of here – and fast.

"I could take you to the nurse." I didn't have to look up to know Tom had offered. I nodded, not caring that every eye on our table was no me, as Tom escorted my out the canteen, I saw Edward's exquisite face on me, the same uninterested look in his dark, hungry eyes.

Tom lead me past the main building, towards the school office Justin and I visited this morning, his arm was hesitantly out, afraid that'll fall, but also afraid to touch me when I might not want it.

The warmth of the office greeted me as I walked hesitantly towards the receptionist, Tom in tow. There was a new woman behind the desk, who looked a whole lot friendlier.

"Can Cassie see the nurse please Miss Down?" Tom asked his voice had gone low and husky, his green eyes bright.

"Just go right through." She nodded toward a door near the far side of the room, surprise still evident in her light brown eyes.

Tom guided me through to the nurse's office, being a gentleman by holding open the door.

"What do we have here?" asked a motherly looking woman with greying hair and a friendly smile, she turned to Tom, "You can go now." When he was about to protest, she cut him off with logic. "What happens if it turns out to be woman issues?" she asked, I felt myself blush, but Tom was worse and he all but sprinted out of the room.

She chuckled, "That got rid of him," her Irish accent was clear in her voice. "Now, I take it we're not really dealing with a period are we?" she pressed a cool hand to my forehead. "You're a little hot, dear, and pale." She looked at me with concern. "Do you want me to call your Mother or something?" she was already walking over towards her office phone, she turned when I didn't reply.

"Please." I asked, my voice shook; at least I could go home, go asleep and pretend this is all a bad dream. So, I told her my new phone number and my mum was here in less than twenty minutes. She lead me out of the bright yellow walls that was called school and wrapped an arm around my waist, bringing me towards her car, as I walked by, I noticed a shiny silver Volvo, mocking me a few cars down.

Mum put me straight to bed, sending up chicken soup and tea, leaving me to my thoughts.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't help but thinking about what I saw today; the Cullen's, people from my Favourite book in the flesh, but I couldn't be…

Could the Cullen's really be the vampires from my book?

And if yes, what the hell was I going to do about it?

I was afraid to answer either of these questions, afraid of what I answer might be… but didn't I _want _Edward Cullen? Didn't I wish for him so many times after reading his name on the pages of twilight? _Be careful what you wish for _was a saying that I have been told ever since I was little, but who could've predicted this happening? I thought about the story of twilight once again, wasn't there supposed to be a Bella? Wasn't this all supposed to happen under the clouds of Forks, in America?

Kelly said they moved from America a few years ago, she said the lines that Jessica Stanley was supposed to say to Bella Swan on her first day of her new school.

Instead Kelly Sullivan said them to Cassandra Clarkson on her first day of school. Did that mean _I _was Bella?

Did I _want _to be Bella? Did I want to give up my safe and ignorant human life and swap it for something more dark and dangerous? I thought of my family, how I would be putting them in danger, how I could end up loosing them…

But what if I'm _not_ Bella? For all I know, she could arrive any minute, she could laugh and yell at me for even thinking about falling in love with her Edward Cullen. I could be one of those students that don't even have a line to say… just part of the crowd. Yeah, how could I be so stupid? To think that I was _Bella,_ what if they're not even vampires? What of it's all a big coincidence? My mind was spinning, so many questions and not enough answers, but in my experience, life works that way.

These unanswered questions haunted me through out my week of being "sick" until my sixth day of illness; my dad came to visit me.

"How's my little girl feelin'?" he asked, his hand automatically reaching for my forehead.

"I dunno." I answered truthfully, in all honesty, I could be on fire and still unsure of how I felt.

"Do you think you might need a Doctor?" he said it casually, but I could tell that I couldn't carry on playing sick for long.

"No dad, I'll be fine for Monday." I sighed, ignoring the proud smile that my father made no attempt of hiding. The real reason was a little more than being caught playing sick. No, what happens if _Dr. Cullen_ sees me_?_ That's just what I need! So I agreed to go to school without a fuss, trying to convince myself that all I have to do is pretend that the Cullen's don't exist, that I could go on with my life without the answers I so desperately crave.

That night, just after dinner, Matt paid me a visit to my room.

"Cassie, are you awake?" his voice was a whisper that could barely be heard.

"No," I replied, my voice mirroring his, "go away."

Matt chuckled and came over to sit at the foot of my bed; his long but light body scarcely added any pressure to the bed.

I switched on my lamp; the bright light hurt my eyes for a few moments, while they adjusted.

Once I could see clearly again, I saw the look of worry on my baby brother's face.

"What's wrong?" I demanded, "has Justin been at you again?" Justin was always teasing Matt, just because he'd rather play with a chemistry set than with a football.

"No, it's not Justin." He shook his head.

"Kid's at school?" It wouldn't be the first time that Matt was bullied, I felt a strong urge to protect him, and after all, he was the only one in this family who half way understood me.

"No, nothing like that Cass," he shook his head again, his eyes wide when he finally looked at me. "Why are you pretending to be sick? Are _you_ being bullied?" his piercing eyes saw right through me, the protectiveness in his voice tugged at my heart.

"No, I…" what was the point of lying? After all, he would see right through it.

"Matt, would you believe me if I said that characters from a book I've read – came to life?" I waited for him to laugh, or at least to tell me that it was impossible, to say some logic to prove me wrong. But his face was thoughtful and his eyes alight with interest.

"It's possible." He allowed.

"But it's fiction!" I argued, "They're not suppose to be _human,_ yet they act the same, look the same and even have the same names!" my voice was rising, edging more into a hysterical screech.

"What _are_ they then? If they're not human?" he didn't react to my words the way I expected him to. I thought about how he would react if I told him the Cullen's were vampires, not that I was going to.

"I can tell you," I admitted, "The truth could hurt you Matt, and I can't let that happen."

"But, I'm not afraid…" he began.

"You should be, because I am." My tone was serious, killing off his protests.

His innocent blue eyes grew wide, "Are they… they're not – dangers, are they?" finally the facts started to sink in.

"They're not _supposed _to be." I allowed, "But that doesn't change anything."

"But _you_ know Cass, if the truth could hurt you, I…" his voice dropped, to a low whisper, "I don't want you hurt."

"I won't be." When I saw he was going to argue, I rephrased my words, "If the truth come out – which it won't – I'll just act like I knew nothing about it." he could see that there was not point arguing with me so he nodded his head, rising from my bed.

He paused when his hand was on the knob of my door, his head turning to me.

"Just be careful, ok? I don't want to loose you Cass." And he was gone before I could reply.

That night, I tossed and turned to Matt's words, to the lies I told him. Of course the Cullen's would find out about my knowledge, what with Edward being able to read minds and Alice seeing into the future, for all I know, they could know already. I began to wonder if the small but beautiful Alice Cullen had "seen" me coming, or if Edward, the possibly real vampire who I wished for so many times, had "heard" my thoughts that day in the lunch hall.

Whatever happened, I would do everything I could to keep my family safe, no matter what.


	4. Chapter 2

Chapter two: Conformation.

The dreaded Monday came almost too quickly, leaving me feeling nervous and downright frightened. Once dressed and ready, my brothers and I made our way towards the car, I noticed that the weather was what vampire would need; very little sun, covered by clouds that almost constantly threatened rain.

While Justin dropped Matt off at school, he gave me a knowing look.

"Good luck Cass." Was all he said, Justin gave the both of us a funny look, but didn't ask questions; obviously our problems didn't concern him.

I felt my nerves fluttering about in my stomach like butterflies, panic rising in my throat; I pushed away my fear and breathed in deeply. There was nothing to be afraid of, I told myself, but a part of me – a more dominant part – refused to believe it.

I walked to science class, thankfully I remembered the way, and I tried to distract myself by memorizing the way to my other classes, anything to keep my mind away from _them_.

"Hey Cass, you feeling better?" Kelly was already at my table; her unnatural blonde locks in curls today.

"Yeah I feel great." I lied.

"That's good," looks like she was lying to, "Tom was worried about you." Aahh, I noted the bitter undertone of her voice.

"Really?" I kept my voice bored.

"Yeah." She replied, her tone changing once she saw my reaction. She waited a few minutes before asking. "Don't you like him?"

I kept my tone casual, "Who? Tom?"

"Yes, Tom." She was getting impatient.

"Well, he _has_ got nice eyes," I mused trying to hide a smile from the look of outrage that clearly showed on Kelly's face. "But…I dunno, I guess he's not my type."

There was silence, after a while I turned to see Kelly, afraid that I said the wrong thing. She looked at me strangely before speaking.

"Then what _is_ your type?" Her voice suspicious.

Oh, a certain bronze haired vampire from a book that goes by the name Edward Cullen, who so happens to be a student here.

"I'll let you know when I find out." There, _that_ should keep me out of trouble for a bit.

After that conversation, Kelly started acting a lot friendlier towards me. Though I could hardly blame her for being jealous, after all, who was the one jealous of a character from a book?

Me.

I was dreading lunch, and knowing my luck, that only made time go faster. I met up with Kelly outside the canteen, her face looked embarrassed.

"Hey Cassie, can I talk to you?" she didn't meet my eyes.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Look, I just want to apologize. For before – "

"Don't bother," I smiled, touched by Kelly making her apology official. "It's ok, I completely understand."

"Friends?" she asked.

"Friends." I agreed, a smiled tugging at my lips.

We talked girl stuff the rest of the way, while getting our lunch to sitting down at our table. Both of us suddenly went quiet when Tom and his friends came to join, I smiled encouragingly at Kelly. No matter how many times I told myself not to, I couldn't help but look over at the Cullen's table.

I was once again amazed by they're beauty, it was unnatural, inhuman. This only convinced me more of them being vampires, which wasn't a good thing.

Edward suddenly looked up, his dark brown eyes, hungry eyes, met mine, his expression was open frustration, like I was some puzzle he couldn't work out. I knew what this meant, he couldn't "read" my mind, just like the Edward in the book couldn't with Bella, not good.

Then Alice looked up, her elfin face full of curiosity, she smiled a dazzling smile that would have broken the toughest of hearts.

It was only a reflex that made me smile back, at least that's still what I'm telling myself.

"You know, that's the first time I saw one of the Cullen's acting friendly towards someone outside their family." Kelly's tone held a note of surprise that was quite insulting. I turned to her, glad of the release from two pairs of hypnotic eyes.

"Has anyone tried to be friendly with them first?" I asked.

"Trust me, a _lot_ of people have tried to be nice to them."

I looked at her, smiling. "When you say "a lot of people" you mean yourself, and when you say "them", I take it that you mean one of the guys over there." I was openly grinning now.

She grimaced, "Is it that obvious?" she asked.

"Just a little." I allowed. We looked at each other before bursting into laughter. Kelly was the first to recover, her tone turned serious. "Don't waste your time Cass, you'll only get hurt. Anyway, Jasper and Alice are kind of an item, so is Emmett and Rosalie. And Edward, well, I guess the girls here aren't good enough for him… or he's gay."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward scowling down at his table, while his family looked in different directions, smiles on their faces.

"It would be a shame though, if he was gay. Such a waste." She sighed.

"It would." I agreed, careful not to look at any of the Cullen's directly.

"But seriously Cassie, he's the kind of guy who eats girls like us for breakfast." She wasn't far off.

"I bet he could if he wanted to," I allowed, "But I bet she'll have to taste pretty good." I smiled over at Kelly. "And on a lighter note…" we spent the rest of lunch talking about an upcoming gig at the local youth club, discussing the pros and cons of wearing a mini skirt during the middle of September.

"So, you're defiantly coming?" she asked when we were outside my English class.

"I'll ask my parents, but I'm not promising you anything." I thought of dad and the last "girls night" I had, my chances of going out again were pretty slim.

My English class was almost full; just a few latecomers were left. I kept my eyes down, felling stares of other's already on me. I walked over to Mr. Willis, my new teacher, and explained that I was new. He pointed to a table to the back, when my eyes followed the point of his finger, I almost begged him to reconsider. Mr. Willis indicated for me to sit in the vacant seat next to Edward Cullen. I walked slowly towards our table, my eyes cast downwards, too afraid to meet the hungry dark brown that was his eyes. If my life were anything like Bella's, then this would be the part when Edward realizes that my blood is more appealing to him than any other humans. I sent a silent prayer to anyone who was up there, praying that he wasn't a vampire, that my blood doesn't "sing" to him or that any of this is reality.

As I got closer, I dared myself to look up, for a moment I thought my heart had stopped beating, his glorious face was twisted with pain and utter loathing that broke my heart.

When I used to read twilight, I used to criticize Bella when Edward reacted like this to her. I thought she was just emotional, that she didn't understand the pain he was going through, and to feel offended by it was to be selfish.

I'm such a hypocrite, I _know_ that he has a reasonable excuse, I _know_ the pain he's going through and yet I still feel hurt. My heartbeat started to race, blood rushing to my cheeks, which is so not good.

Edward's body went still, his breathing stopped and his jaw was firmly closed, he looked like he had just smelt something rotten. This was all the conformation I needed, the Cullen's _are_ vampires, and it's look like I _might _just be Bella. I tried to extinguish the little flame of hope that I might just have all I've wished for just a seat away from me.

I took my seat, placing it as faraway from Edward that was possible, I tried to keep my face clear of both hope and hurt that raged inside of me.

My thoughts wondered why no one knew about the Cullen's; I mean, there were _books_ about them, but who in Ireland reads vampire romance novels? Everyone around here is too busy with sports and the latest fashion accessories to worry about books that had vampires falling in love with humans and their dangerous and forbidden love.

And who would be mad enough to believe that the five beautiful students in their school were in fact vampires from a book?

And who would be sad and obsessed enough to _want_ to believe it.

Me. How sad.

Edward's still posture never relaxed, nor did I expect it to.

I made the mistake of stealing a glance at him through a curtain of dark curly hair; he glared at me as if I killed babies for pleasure, my heart accelerated, and I refused to look at him again.

My grandmother always told me that: _A watched pot never boils._

Well, a watched clock never ticks either Gran, because I spent more time staring at the clock, willing it's tick's and tock's to speed up, then on Mr. Willis. And it felt like forever until the bell finally rang.

He was already out of his seat, so fast that to my eyes he was a blur, and so gracefully that I felt a little jealous.

I was shaken when I walked to gym, but for the strangest reason, I wasn't afraid. Maybe it's the lack of pollution in the Irish air that's doing something to my brain, because I'm not scared at the fact that five vampires are going to my school, and I've just become the most delicious meal ever to one of them. I have just become Edward Cullen's brand of heroin.

I never though I would say that, let alone feel ok with it.

Did I feel ok? I mean, the shock probably hasn't sunk in yet, but I don't feel any fear…not yet. But, why is it taking so long?

All these questions, feelings and vampires are really giving me a headache.

Gym was brutal, we were playing a game the Irish call "Hurley" a sport where you have a funny sort of stick and use a hard tennis ball. They could have been playing Quidditch for all I knew. After getting hit by that _hard_ ball and some Hurley sticks, I felt bruised and damn right sore.

I inspected my body while I was getting changed, and sure enough they were red splotches that soon will bloom into beautiful purple and blue flowery bruises over my ivory skin.

It hurt when I moved too, so instead of walking to history, I waddled, like a bloody duck.

Lucky no one paid any attention to me; the new girl is old news, so I was free to be as duck-like as I wished.

As I entered the class, I internally groaned, Alice Cullen was in this class. I seriously must have really pissed someone important for me to be having this kind of day.

Thankfully my teacher Mr. Foley sent me to a desk two seats behind, so Alice wouldn't be able to carry on looking at me like a fond parent looking at a naughty child: you try to be stern, but you can't help but show your love for them.

I wonder what she "saw".

It must have been good, because that was _not_ the look you give someone your brother desires to kill, because you smell really nice.

I don't know how she managed to be able to still look at me, maybe it's because she's positioned her chair at an angle, so she can both see what is happening in class, and keep an eye on me, whatever it was, she's managed to do it.

I wasn't paying attention to Mr. Foley or Alice, my mind was wondering to other things like; I am I dreaming? Or is this real? Or my Favourite one: is this what it's like to be a nutter?

My mind was distracted, so it took a while for me to notice that Alice had gone very still, her eyes distant, as if she was seeing something that I couldn't. No one had noticed the change in Alice, that's probably because no one ever paid much attention to any of the Cullen's. Seconds ticked by and Alice was still caught up in her vision of the future and I was beginning to get worried.

For what seemed like an age and a bit, she became aware of herself and her surroundings. Her dark eyes found mine, a saddened and haunting look shone in her eyes like unshed tears.

I knew then that Edward's decision to kill me had changed and by the looks of it, it didn't look good.

I waited impatiently by the car for Justin, my eyes flashing to an empty Volvo every few seconds. Yes, I was afraid now, for all I knew this could be my last few hours, even Bella Bloody Swan would be scared.

My heart was on overdrive; the thought of a vampire coming to my home, with my family there was…I didn't want to think about it. Finally Justin emerged from the school doors, a blonde insect at his heels, trying to act casual, but to me, she seemed desperate.

"C'mon," I whined when Justin was in hearing range, "I've got better things to do than watch girls drool over you." I received the filthiest look from Blondie, well if I die tonight; at least she is going to feel guilty. Justin actually cracked a smile, which made me feel good, another thing to be happy about if I die.

"Bye Just." Blondie said in a sweet voice as fake as her tan.

"Yeah, bye Tanya." He waved half-heartedly before getting in to the car.

"So, what's the rush?" he asked once he was pulling out of the parking lot. This surprised me; Justin actually cared about what was rushing me? My throat felt tight, I breathed raggedly in, trying to calm myself, no need to scare Justin with "emotional stuff." I though about Matt, how he would react if he'd seen me in this state, that though made force myself to be calm, for my innocent brothers, even Justin.

"I was saving Tanya the humiliation." I said once I was certain that my voice wouldn't betray me.

"I don't think she sees it that way." He chuckled, pulling into Matt's school.

Despite trying to act normal, I couldn't help it when my voice became intent.

"You can do so much better than the likes of her." Justin looked at me like I'd just said that I wanted to be a prostitute when I grow up.

The back door opened and Matt came in, his lanky arms over flowing with large books, his floppy blonde hair in his blue eyes.

"Hey Matt, how was you're day?" I kept my tone light; this would be the hardest part of all.

"Fine," he said suspiciously, "You?"

"Alright." I shrugged, I gave him, what I hoped was a reassuring look. I doubt I fooled him, but he didn't ask any more questions; obviously not aware of the danger I might soon face.

I though about running away, in hope to keep my family safe from the hungry vampire that I wished for, but my scent was all over the house and that would just lead him there.

I debated whether or not I should confront Edward, but that would leave me with no other option but to become dinner.

My family knew something was wrong, maybe it was the fact I kissed both my parents, hugged my brothers tightly and told everyone that I loved them no matter what happens. Whatever they thought of that, they didn't comment on it, just returned my kisses, hugs and "I love you", even Matt didn't say anything.

By then I had made a decision, I knew what I was going to do.

I was going to leave my bedroom window wide open, locking my door, even though that won't be much help, and praying with all my might that I'm enough to satisfy Edward's thirst.

For a while I lay awake wondering how my parents would react if they wake up to find their daughter drained of blood, would they even find a body? Would it seem that I was missing? Another runaway child, just like so many others. It would certainly explain my behaviour tonight. As the minutes ticked by, my eyelids became heavy, my body relaxing into a sleep-like state, an odd calm washed over me, my thoughts went to Jasper, the blonde- male vampire, he could control the feelings around him.

As I drifted off into sleep, I felt at sudden peace, I no longer feared Edward, but deep down, I knew I never did.

My last thoughts were off Edward, as I pictured his glorious face, a little shocked that I remembered it in full detail, and then I drifted into unconsciousness.

The first thing I became aware of was the unbearable pain that throbbed up and down my torso, as I collected my thoughts, I realised I should be dead, but surely death couldn't feel this painful, I soon became more aware of my surroundings, a loud pounding noise not far away.

"Get up Cass, or you'll be late." My mother's voice sounded raw, like she had been yelling for a while.

Why didn't she just come in? Did she sense her only daughter was dead? Or maybe she didn't want to break down my locked door. I opened one eye, seeing my white ceiling and part of my baby pink walls. This is a funny sort of heaven. I wasn't dead, I realized, I was alive and very sore. I removed my hello kitty blankets and looked down in horror, my body was covered in disgusting bruises.

I hobbled towards my door, unlocking the bolt and limping the way down the stairs.

"What the _hell_ did you do to you're self?" demanded my mother once she saw my swollen body.

"She looks like a purple grape." Sniggered my older brother; I'll remember to get him back sometime.

"Shut up, Justin." My father said sternly, but even I could see the smile that was threatening to spread over his face.

"You can't go to school like that." Tutted my mother, coming over to poke at my bruises.

"How did it happen Cass?" Matt was the only one concerned about me at the moment and the only one not trying to hold back a smile.

"Hurley." Was all I needed to say.

Justin sniggered into his cereal bowl; dad turned his face away, his body shaking with silent laugher.

"Oh, dear." Said my mother, putting her hand over her mouth, trying to pretend to be concerned, when she really was hiding a grin. When she had finally composed herself she told me:

"You're going straight to the doctors."

I hate waiting rooms, they are always depressing. Whether it's the greying white walls, the unnatural silence or the sight of tiny children playing with old broken toys, they are depressing.

I've been sitting here for the last fifteen minutes, refusing to move a sore muscle. I heard rather than saw the door to the doctor's room open, I looked up.

He couldn't be a day over twenty-two, his golden blonde hair matched the honey gold colour to his eyes. His complexion was flawlessly pale, his smile warm and friendly.

"Miss Clarkson?" at the sound of Dr. Cullen's appealing voice, did my mother look up. Her eyes widened, jumping out of her seat, pulling my bruised arm along with her.

"Mum, remember you're married. Yeah?" my tone was mock seriousness.

"Just as long as you remember you're only sixteen." Her voice mirroring mine and from the smile on Dr. Cullen's face, he heard every word.

"Well Cassandra, there's nothing really I can do, apart form advising you to have a hot bath and a long bed rest." Dr. Carlisle Cullen told me while gently turning my forearm with extremely cold hands. I know doctors are meant to have cold hands, but this was ridiculous, if he wasn't a vampire.

"And maybe a note excusing you from contact sports." He added his American accent held a British undertone.

"That would wonderful Dr. Cullen." Fluttered my mother like the girls do to Justin at school, it was pathetic. But I suppose I would be the same, if I haven't already seen his son.

He signed my note with a flourish of his hand, a smile on his face as he handed my mother the note.

"Dr. Cullen?" I hesitantly asked.

"Yes, Cassandra?" his piercing golden eyes turned to me.

"Has… has Edward, left?" I asked in a timid voice.

His face saddened into a heartbreaking mask, "He has gone to visit some friends in the north." He looked at me with the same expression that Alice wore when I first entered history class, only his was more like a father looking at a daughter, waiting for her to realize something important.

I nodded, turning to mum. "Well, _dad_ will be waiting for us." I put extra emphasise in the word dad.

Mum rolled her eyes and got up to leave the room.

"Thank you Dr. Cullen." She smiled, following me out the door.

I paused once my mother was a good few footsteps away from the room.

"Dr. Cullen?" I whispered.

"Yes, Cassandra?" he lowered his voice to match mine.

"I'm sorry." And I left the room before he could ask any questions.

But the truth was that I knew Edward will come back, just like I knew he left, it was all in the book.

I couldn't help but think of the look both Alice and Dr. Cullen had given me, they were waiting for me to realize something.

They were waiting for me to realize that I loved Edward.

If only they knew that they're wasting they're time.

I already knew that I loved him.


	5. Chapter 3

Chapter three: Interrogations

Edward Cullen didn't return to school for almost two weeks.

I suppose he would have been back earlier, if the rays of sunlight weren't stopping both him and his family from being seen by the public eye.

I was in the lunch hall, biting into a homemade sandwich that I had made earlier this morning, my eyes, just out of habit, turned to the Cullen's table.

I expected to see four Cullen's, like I had for the past week, but five pale, beautiful vampires sat there to day.

Kelly poked me in the ribs, whispering in my ear.

"Stop staring at Edward Cullen, Cass." At that moment, his eyes looked into mine his golden eyes unreadable.

I couldn't look away, I knew exactly what Bella meant about hypnotic eyes, about the power behind those golden eyes that held yours in place, refusing to look anywhere but into the depth of liquid gold.

I was really starting to understand Bella, almost feel sorry for her. How could she stand a chance against this god-like creature?

How could I for that matter?

I felt my heart pound against my ribcage, in an almost painful way, I silently begged him – if he could read my mind – to look away, look anywhere but me.

I doubt Edward can read my mind, but I am pretty sure he can read my expressions, the desperate begging must have showed, because he looked away, the same frustration in his eyes.

I was silent for the rest of lunch; my thoughts were in too much of a mess to supply conversation.

I thought about ditching English but I made an excuse of how English was an important subject, it was a feeble reason, but it was better than saying that I wanted to be close to Edward.

As I walked to class, my heart experienced that same painful throbbing in my chest, moisture dampened my hands and my breathing became ragged and uneven, like I wanted to cry.

I refused to look at him as I took my seat; I wanted to maintain what dignity I had left, because I was sure my willpower was soon to evaporate once I looked at his angelic face.

"Hello," wow, his voice really _was_ musical, for a moment I thought my heart had stopped.

I turned to look in his direction, "I'm Edward Cullen, I never had the chance to properly introduce myself. You must be Cassandra Clarkson." He smiled politely.

"Hi." Urgh! Did my voice always sound so high and nervous?

He waited for me to say more, when I didn't, he continued.

"So, how do you like Ireland so far?" he was trying to make casual conversation, why? I had no idea.

"Painful." I remembered gym next lesson.

"Painful?" he repeated, confused.

I couldn't help but smile, "The Irish have got this thing called Hurley." I winced a little at the memory.

He returned my smile, beautiful face clear of confusion. "I heard about that." He looked at my face with piercing eyes "Bruises gone?"

Blood rushed to my face, my eyes narrowed, he knew about _that._

"Yes, there gone." I said through gritted teeth, trying not to hear his American tones that had very small Irish lithe.

I scowled down at our table, keeping my eyes safely away from his.

"Am I annoying you?" he sounded amused.

"Just a little."

We were both silent, Mr. Willis was explaining our Shakespeare project, we had to choose a Shakespeare piece, do an essay on it and write in one thousand words about why we choose it.

"You got the rest of this lesson to plan and discus with your partner." He concluded.

"So, any ideas?" I tried to keep my tone casual, to hide the longing from my voice, I turned to him.

His gold eyes smothered me, just like the rest of him, what did I ask him?

"Mc Beth?" he suggested.

"Ok, uumm…what about: The taming of the shrew?" he looked surprised, and oh so god-like.

"You know that one?" he tilted his head to the side, examining me closely.

"Of course, it is one of _the_ most sexist plays Shakespeare has ever written." He chucked at my rant his eyes alight with curiosity.

I tried again. "Romeo and Juliet?" his laughter died instantly, a solemn expression clouded the perfect angles and curves of his pale face.

"Don't like forbidden love?" I tried to keep my tone light, but the intent behind the question was there.

He laughed without humour, "It all ends in tears."

I had a feeling that we weren't talking about plays anymore.

"Not all the time." I whispered. He smiled, his dark mood lifting.

"Romeo and Juliet it is then." He took one of the plain papers that was handed out and wrote our play, his handwriting was way too elegant for a sixteen-year-old boy.

"Tell me about you're family." He said suddenly, taking me off guard.

"What do you want to know?" I asked, wondering where this was leading.

"You have two brothers." It wasn't a question.

"Yes, Matt and Justin." Why of all things, talk about my brothers? _Was _he gay?

"Why don't you start from there?" he pressed.

"Justin is seventeen and Matt is eleven," I began, "Justin likes the spotlight, to be centre of attention. Matt is the brains of the family, always doing some science experiment or maths problem. I guess Matt is easier to like, he's not like Justin in anyway." I paused, I was sure this would be boring him.

He was staring at me with unfathomable interest, like every word was an answer to a question he desperately wanted.

"And you?" he urged.

"I'm the middle child, the neglected one." I grinned at him, "I spend most of my time reading a book, singing or writing." I admitted.

"You can sing?" he asked, his glorious face was a little stunned.

"Every one can sing," I corrected him, "It's only a matter if you can sing good or bad." I smiled at Edward, happy to see that I could correct him.

He waited patently for me to answer.

"I haven't had a complaint," I admitted, "Yet."

"Why did you move to Ireland?" he asked, no one had ever asked that question, at least not so frank.

"Parents thought it would be good for the family." I replied simply.

He raised an eyebrow. Crap he could do that well!

"Matt was getting bullied," my eyes fell to the table, "And Justin and I went to sort it out, like tell them to back off, and well, this big fight started." I shook my head at the vicious memory.

"You were in a fight?" his voice was livid, like the though caused him great anger.

"No one messes with the people I care about." I said calmly.

"What happened?" he demanded through gritted teeth.

I paused; I didn't expect him to act so violently to it, it tugged my heart to know he cared.

I shrugged, "Justin got a black eye, I got a busted lip," I tried to keep the pride out of my voice, " I managed to break a guy's nose."

"You broke a eleven-year-olds nose?" he asked in disbelief.

I grimaced, "No, older brother." I corrected.

Edward shook his head, "You are the strangest creature I have ever met." He muttered.

"Flattery won't get you anywhere, Mr. Cullen." I grinned at him. He returned my grin with a dazzling crocked smile, stopping my heart and hitching my breathing.

"Back to the topic at hand." My eye flashed down to our unwritten piece of paper.

He ignored me. "Do my questions bother you?"

"Not really," I confessed, "I'm quite easy to read." I also hinted.

"On the contrary, I find you very difficult to read." He smiled at his privet joke, unaware that I was in on it too.

So, he _couldn't _read my mind.

Right on queue, the class bell rang. Edward was already out of his seat, faster than any human ever could, and out the door before anyone else was out of his or her seats.

I worked on notes for my English project during gym, thanks to Dr. Cullen's note, but it was hard when my mind was full of Edward.

I was quite excited to get to history, what with Edward not killing me, I wondered what Alice Cullen's reaction would be today?

She was already there once I had arrived, but not in her normal seat, no she was in the seat next to mine.

From her old seat sat Chris O' Doyle, the boy who used to sit next to me, shooting her dark looks, but she didn't seen to notice.

"Hi." She said once I was in human hearing range. "You don't mind me sitting here?" she didn't wait for me to reply, her musical voice was just as appealing as her brother's. "It's just that I _know_ we're going to be great friends," I bet she does. "And I thought this would be a great way to start." She beamed at me, her pixie face lit up with pixie dust.

"Hi," I said my head felt a little confused, "No, I don't mind you sitting here. Yes, I'm sure we're going to be the best of friends, and yes, I guess this is a good way to start." I couldn't help but grin at her.

"I can see why _he_ likes you." She muttered in a low voice, too low for me to be certain. Did she mean _Edward???_

"So, how do you like Ireland?" she asked.

"Things have gotten interesting." I answered truthfully.

"You didn't answer my question." She pressed.

"What is it with you Cullen's and questions?" I muttered, trying hard not to stare at her breathtaking smile. I thought about my answer carefully. "Well, apart from the Hurley, it's ok."

"I heard about that." She tried not to giggle.

"Is there anyone in your family that _hasn't_ heard about it?" I demanded.

Her laughter sounded like wind chimes, beautifully high-pitched, her golden eyes alight.

"Cass," her tone became serious, all laughter gone.

"Yeah?"

"Do me a favour."

"What?" I couldn't possibly imagine what I could do for her.

"Don't give up on him." I didn't ask what she meant – I didn't have to.

"Does that mean it's going to be hard?" I asked, knowing that she knew that I knew.

"It'll be worth it," she promised, not answering my question.

"I know it will." It felt nice to actually say it out loud.

She shook her head sadly, "You know too much."

I closed my eyes, breathing in deeply. "If it ends … badly, would…would my family be safe?" When she didn't answer, I opened my eyes to see her pained expression.

"I…" she began.

"Alice Cullen, what are you doing in Mr. Doyle's seat?" Mr. Foley demanded.

Alice turned her golden hypnotic eyes to the teacher, unleashing the power that was vampire beauty.

"I work well with Cassandra." Her voice was high, confident and full of authority.

"I…well…" poor man didn't stand a chance. Both Alice and I spend the rest of history in silence, every once and a while I would catch Alice looking at me like she wanted to say something, but every time she caught my eye, she thought better of it.

This gave me a lot to ponder, so the Cullen's knew about me knowing they were vampires and all they were going to do was tell me not to give up?

There was no: don't you dare tell anyone or we'll drink your blood? No denying that I had got it right, just asking me not to give up.

While I was thinking of this, Justin came striding along towards the car.

"The freaks are staring at you." I followed the direction of his stare. All five beautiful Cullen vampires had golden eyes on me, they all stood beside Edward's silver Volvo, their gaze brought a blush to my cheeks.

"They're not freaks." I told him stubbornly, looking away from five pairs of eyes.

"If they're friends of yours, they're freaks." He clarified.

"No," I contradicted him, "If they were pompous prats like Justin Simon Clarkson, who thinks they are God's gift to women, then they would be freaks."

He tutted. "Hit a nerve?"

I couldn't answer that one. "Just get in the car." I ordered, refusing to look at the Cullen's.

He chuckled, "So, which one is it?"

"Which one what?" I kept my tone innocent.

"Which one have you got the hots for?"

"I don't know what you talking about." I denied.

"I bet it's that Edwin, you'd always had a soft spot for his type."

"It's Edward." I corrected with a sigh, am I really having this conversation?

"I _Knew_ it." he howled with laughter, causing several people to look in our direction. "And you don't even deny it."

I decided to change the subject. "What do you mean "his type"?"

Justin pretended to wipe a fake tear from his eye. "The weird, moody one. All mysterious and shit."

"Just get in the car." I repeated.

He shook his head, still shaken from laughter, but did what he was told.

"You're late." Accused Matt as he climbed into the back seat. "What's so funny?" he asked once he saw Justin's good mood.

"Cassie's got a crush on one of the weird kids at school." Grinned my older brother.

"Oh yeah?" Matt gave me a knowing look, "Who?"

"Edwin Cullen."

"Edward," I said through my teeth, "It's Edward Cullen."

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes.

Justin carried on teasing me all the way home, trying to get a reaction that would confirm my feelings for Edward, he was surely disappointed though, because I refused to reacted to his snide remarks in anyway.

But I knew Matt believed Justin, he was such a smart kid, and he was even smarter not to mention it.

"Hey, you'll never guess what." We were at the dinner table, ready to eat, when Justin felt it was the right time to humiliate me further.

"What?" asked dad, his voice a little impatient, wanting to eat.

"Cassie over there has got a crush on the Cullen kid." He grinned, waiting for everyone to praise him.

"Dr. Cullen has kids?" my mother asked, brows pulling together.

"They're all adopted." I explained.

"They?" she picked up the plural.

"Yeah, five of them. Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper."

"You forgot Edward, Cassie." Corrected my brother.

"I take it, this Edward is the one she likes." Grinned my father.

"Yeah." Justin nodded his head, pleased of our dad's reaction.

I rolled my eyes at him; he was not going to let it drop.

"She hasn't even denied it once." He continued.

"What's he like?" mum asked excitedly.

"Tall, pale, reddish hair," Justin shrugged, "nothing special."

Mum ignored him, "Well?" she pressed.

"He's…" how could you describe an angel?

"See? She _does_ like him!" boomed the prat.

"YES! I LIKE HIM, YOU HAPPY NOW?" I yelled, jumping out of my seat. My whole family was staring at me with wide eyes – they didn't expect a confession.

I felt my eyes well up, an action triggered by my anger, I ran for my room, not giving Justin the satisfaction that he had really got to me.

I slammed the door shut, the force behind it echoed through out the house. I buried my head in the softness of my pillow, allowing the tears to flow freely.

Why did he have to make such a big deal of it? It was like he to pleasure of my embarrassment, like he got some natural high of it.

I don't know how long I lay there crying, but once the tears had finally stopped, I raised my head to wipe my damp cheeks with my sleeve. I noticed dark patches on my pillow, from where I had been crying, realizing that I really did love Edward Cullen.

I had never reacted this way over someone before, when Matt was being bullied; I felt anger, whenever mum and dad have one of their arguments, I feel worry. When Rover – my dog – died, an aching pain of loss was what I felt of weeks.

All these emotions flooded through me, some I had never experienced before and ones I could not understand. With Edward Cullen I felt the powerful and frightening feeling of love.

It felt good to finally admitted it, like a crushing weight being lifted off my shoulders, leaving me free of the burden.

"I hope you're happy," I glared at the tearstains, "Now, I'm in love with a vampire who wants to kill me."

I sighed, getting into the blankets of my bed, cocooning it around me, drifting off into unconsciousness.

Apart of me did know I was dreaming, but reality had gotten so weird lately, that it was hard to tell.

I was in a large green field, wearing nothing but a thin, white cotton dress. I wasn't alone, people from my school were here too, teachers and students alike, gathering in mobs lead by Justin.

"Freaks, Freaks!" they chanted, circling around something I couldn't see.

"Cassie," Edward's musical voice called out in anguish, "Cassie, save us!" Tom, the boy with green eyes noticed me, one moment he was amongst the crowed, the next he was locking me tight to his body, refusing to let me go.

"I can't!" I yelled, struggling against Tom's grasp.

"But I thought you loved me." His voice was fading as the crowed edged nearer.

"She doesn't love you. I do." Came a clear voice, I turned to see a beautiful pale girl, with dark hair and chocolate brown eyes, stumbling a little as she moved towards the mob.

"Bella…" Edward cried in relief. "Bella, I love you…"

"NOOOO…" I cried, waking myself with a start.

My clothes clung to me like second skin, thanks to the sweat that covered my body. My heart beat loud and fast, pumping blood around my body, filling the silent room with noise.

I breathed in deeply, concentrating on calming down my heart.

I knew my dream was just that, a dream. But I couldn't help but lay awake worrying about my dream; the way I'm human and Edward is a strong, fast and powerful vampire. How something so weak as me would only be a nuisance to him.

If any human had a right to love Edward, it was Bella. I'm not Bella, I'm Cassie, and I'm in love with Edward.

Well, Kelly was right all a long; I would end up getting hurt because Edward Cullen eats girls like me for breakfast.

And I love him.

Still

I guess the nut house is the next place for me.


	6. Chapter 4

Chapter four: Alone.

After the dream episode, I lay awake thinking, worrying and questioning. It felt nice to have breakfast; I missed dinner, even if Justin was sniggering at me and my mother kept asking unneeded "How are you?" And "Are you ok?"

As I ate my plain toast, I never have butter; my mother stared out the window, lost in her own world.

"Cass," my mother said unexpectedly, "is that him?" she peered out the window for a better look of something I couldn't see.

"Who?" I asked, trying not to get my hopes up.

"The Cullen boy, Edward." At the sound of his name, Justin, Matt and I looked up, racing for a look.

Justin blocked both Matt's view and mine. "Yep, that's him alright." His stare turned into a bitter glare, still refusing to let anyone see. "I wonder what he's doing here?" all eyes turned to me.

"I'll go cheek." Suggested Matt, already halfway to the door.

"Don't." I protested, but it was too late, he was already outside, heading towards Edward, who was leaning against his Volvo.

I raced to the window, practically shoving Justin out the way.

Edward was smiling at Matt, his pale hands hidden in his jean pocket. Matt had his arms crossed over his chest, grinning like a Cheshire cat. Something he said made Edward laugh and ruffle his blonde hair; the honey-gold glint in Edward's eye was visible even from where I was standing, Matt nodded at him, before running into the house.

"Cass, Edward Cullen wants to know if you want a ride for school." He beamed at me, pleased of his work.

No sooner had the words come out of his mouth, did I sprint for my bag and scrambling for the door.

"My, someone's eager." Muttered my mother, as I wedged open the front door.

Edward laughed once he saw me, making me blush; I looked down to make sure I didn't forget my pants.

"Would you like a ride to school?" he kept his tone polite, but even I saw the uncertainty in his eyes.

I was going to say something witty and smart, but I wanted him to know that I really did love him, that life wasn't always one big joke to me.

"Yes, thank you." I smiled, opening the passenger door.

Once inside, Edward started the ignition, playing with buttons and knobs to adjust the heating and decrease the volume of some classical music I was unfamiliar with.

"So," I asked casually, "What's with the personal chauffeur?"

Edward chuckled, zooming along the deserted road, green blurs whizzed past, making me a little dizzy.

"So?" I prompted.

"I believe we have to talk." He replied lightly.

"Uh-oh." I muttered, "Sounds serious."

I noticed we weren't going the right way to school. "Where are we going?" I said.

He ignored me, "You know about my family." It wasn't a question.

"Yes." He kept his eyes on the road, even though he didn't have to.

"You know what we are?" he tried to keep his tone light, but seriousness leaked through.

"That you're – that you're vampires?" I whispered, "Yeah, yeah I do."

"Do you know what we can do?" he voice was completely serious now, still refusing to look at me.

"I know you can kill me in a heartbeat." I was amazed how calm my voice sounded.

"Then why did you agree to come with me?" Anger was now surfacing; he turned his livid, lovely face to me.

"Because I wanted to."

"Why did you want to?" he demanded, in transparent anger.

His anger hurt, I willed myself not to cry.

"Do you _really_ want me to answer that?" I yelled, my anger and hurt exploding, giving me more courage than I really had.

My outburst took him off guard; he stared at me, expression unreadable.

"This is wrong." His whisper was in contrast with my yell.

"Whether it's right or wrong, it doesn't make much difference now." I glared out the window. We drove in silence, until I decided that I needed an extra kick in hurting myself.

"You haven't asked me how I found out." The bitterness left an almost vile taste in my mouth.

He didn't answer.

"I read a book," I continued anyway, "it's called twilight. It's about a girl called Isabella Swan, she moves to a place called Forks to be with her dad. She met this family, a family that's fast and strong and pale and beautiful, she falls in love with one of them, Edward Cullen. Long story short, I know all about you and your family, and the reason why I wanted to come with you today is…" I felt his intense stare burning into me but I refused to look at him, determined to keep my eyes straight ahead. "When I read that book, like Bella, I fell in love with Edward. I fell in love with words printed on a page so bad…I wanted nothing more for him to be real. I read that book over and over again, imagining that I was Bella, that I was the human girl that Edward Cullen couldn't read, the one who he loved." My voice had gone horse, straining back a sob that was just itching to cry out.

I turned to Edward, he beautiful, glorious, angelic face was twisted in a conflict of emotions, some I could recognise as pain, anger and sadness.

"I should leave now, leave the country." His voice was of anguish that I felt. The thought of him leaving was unbearable, unthinkable. What would get me up in the morning?

"If you leave, I would follow you."

"You wouldn't be able to find me." Both him and I were certain of that.

"You know as well as I do, that it wouldn't stop me." tears were starting to over flow and corrupt my vision.

"I'm not like the Edward in the book Cassie, I'm dangerous. Please grasp that." His voice was pleading now, trying to persuade me. A traitor tear fell.

"Are you _crying_?" he demanded in disbelief.

"Well, duh!" I said through tears, making a useless attempt to wipe away the overflowing tears that dampened my cheeks.

"I'm sorry." He sighed, resting his head back against the leather headrest.

"Do you know what Alice told me yesterday?" I demanded, ignoring his apology.

He ignored me, staring out the window, stopping the car.

"She told me not to give up, that it's going to be hard. That it's going to be worth it."

"I could kill you." He said, turning to look at me, eyes full if ancient sadness, making me feel young and inexperienced.

I rolled up my cotton sleeve, exposing my ivory arm.

"Go on then." I put my arm under his noise, noticing that his breathing had stopped.

He took my wrist with an extremely cold hand, turning it so blue veins were facing him. My heart raced from his touch, watching as he put his cool lips to my veins.

He kissed it tenderly, like he was holding glass, his golden eyes meeting mine.

I saw love there, overflowing in the depths of his eyes, I saw what I wanted to see ever since I read his name on the pages of that stupid book.

He gently released my hand, only to stroke my face, a small smile playing on the edge of his lips.

"You don't know how long I've waited for you." He whispered.

Smiling in reply I said, "I could say the same thing to you."

His answering smile was dazzling, making me hold my breath.

He stared deep into my eyes, liquid topaz, playing with the rhythm of my heart.

"I will not have you hurt." He said ferociously, but a sudden coolness entered his eyes, his face clean of the love I had just seen, making me feel uneasy.

"I won't leave Cassandra," he promised, "But I want you to stay away from both my family and me. I want to act like we don't exist. I want you safe." His beautiful, vamperic face had become a mask, rid of all emotions and humanity, it was now that Edward looked like a vampire. As the words sunk in, word but tortuous word, the unthinkable meaning became clear. How _dare_ he?

I felt my eyes narrow as all the hurt inside me evolved into anger, I grinded my teeth together, stopping the venomous swear words from escaping my lips.

"Fine." I stressed my anger and pain on that one word, opening the car door.

"What?" Edward look astonished, probably surprised by me agreeing so quickly. "Cassandra, what are you doing? Where are you going?" he demanded, also getting out the car.

"I am going far away from the non-existent Volvo and it's non-existent vampire owner as I possibly can!" I screeched, I sounded like a demon possessed, but I didn't care, if he wanted me to stay away, I would. And I was going to make his regret ever thinking of it in the first place.

"Please, be reasonable," he said through his teeth, anger rising. "You don't know how to get back…your going in the wrong direction!" I was walking, to what I hoped was a northeast direction; I turned and went in the opposite way in case he had a fit.

"At least let me drive you to school." He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to control his anger.

"Listen Edward," his name sent a shiver of pleasure through me, and I hated it. "I don't want your charity, or you sympathy for that matter. So please, just leave me alone, that's want you want, right? So GO!" my walk started to pick up speed, becoming a full-blown sprint. I knew he could catch up with the car, and even faster if he ran at vampire speed, but I didn't care, I kept running.

A part of me secretly wanted him to come after me, to apologise for both hurting and scaring me, but I knew he wouldn't, he would stay away from now on, even if he did love me – which he didn't, the love in his eyes could have been wishful thinking for all I knew – he would still stay away.

I didn't notice the rain at first, too absorbed with wallowing in self-pity and to empty to care.

Did this happen in twilight? Before Bella came on the scene, did Edward have a Cassie? A girl who knew he would never love her but couldn't help but still love him?

What happened to the Cassie in the book? The Cullen's never spoke of her and I'm sure Edward never though of her with Bella near. Was that what was to become of me? A simple human forgotten about, just there for the time being until Bella comes, keeping Edward warm for her.

How could I be so _stupid_?

How could I delude myself into thinking that I was Bella, that Edward was going to love me, all of me, the human, stubborn, annoying me?

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._

Stupid book, stupid vampire, stupid me.

By now I was in a big field, green and luscious, and deserted.

I was in the back of beyond; full of greenery and thunderous grey clouds that promised a storm.

I walked until I was in the middle of the isolated field, sitting down cross-legged on the wet grass, enjoying the cold drops of September rain.

I know it was childish, but with every cold drop, I imagined that it was a touch from Edward. I imagined his ice-like fingertips gently brushing my cheeks, my eyelids, and my lips…

I know I was tormenting myself, he was like _my_ brand of heroine, only I was trying to quit. And the more I thought about _not_ thinking about him, the more I did.

Everything about him haunted me, his face, his voice… everything.

Was love always this hard? Was it always this painful?

I read about love, seen it in movies, heard depressed singers wail about it from the radio, but I never stopped to think just how much truth was in each word. I though it was just some melodramatic performance, a good love story with added heartbreak in between, maybe throw in another lover and Voila! You have a perfect money making scheme.

But really, they were warnings, warning me to stop wishing for a vampire called Edward Cullen, warning me it will all end in tears…

I don't know how Justin found me, maybe Alice or Edward told him, but he showed up in the middle of my abandon field, all traces of teasing gone and really worry in his eyes.

He didn't say anything, he didn't have to, and he just put his strong, warm arm around me.

Lost in the warmth of his embrace, I became aware that I was cold and wet, I shivered, burying me face in his chest, thankful of my big brother.

"I'll kill him for this." He whispered, his voice was menacing, sending fear to the very core of my spine.

"Don't," I begged, I couldn't find an excuse that would make him see logic, and so I just pleaded with him. "Please don't, for me."

He sighed, his body becoming as damp as mine, "Ok." Making sure his arms were tightly wrapped around me, he lifted me up as if I weighed no more than a bag-pack, cradling me to his chest.

He carried me back to the car, gently resting me in the backseat, throwing a blanket over me.

I wondered why it was raining inside the car, but then I realised that it was just my tears, streaming down my face.

Justin got into the front seat, but didn't start the car, for a long while we sat in silence.

"Did he leave you there?" his voice was calm, but that only frightened me more, I haven't seen him react like this since Matt was being bullied, and that ended in a fight…

"No," I croaked, my voice sounded like I life-long smoker. "I refused to go back." He nodded, assessing the situation with cool calculation.

Our silence continued throughout the journey home, neither one of us felt the need to speak, just listen to silent hum of the engine.

"Cass!" mum sighed in relief as Justin carried me through the threshold, refusing to let me walk.

"I'm fine mum." I said, waving of her demands of my condition. "I just want to go bed." Making a feeble attempt to break loose from Justin.

He put me down, watching me, like my mother, as I slouched up the tiresome stairs.

I refused to get out of bed the next day, and the next day, and soon it was once again, the weekend.

During that time, I ate Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice cream, stayed in my Pj's and listened to depressing music.

Just to give me that extra kick, I read twilight again; forcing myself to compare Bella and I, to convince myself that Edward _couldn't_ love me. And Monday morning, I was fresh and ready to go, my body sick of anything to do with sugar and my love for a certain vampire…well, it was still there, but I pushed it down, locking it in a box and erasing the key.

All in all, I could say that I have been worse, but I would be lying through my teeth.

No one spoke to me, like they were afraid of the sound of my voice; even the teachers didn't feel the need to ask my any questions.

As the day dragged on, my voice box was still unused, I felt the stares of others, I could almost hear the words of scandal of the tip of their tongue. I wanted to shout, to scream to swear at the top of my lungs, but what good would that do?

I took my usual seat next to Kelly, playing around with the fruit salad with my fork, the raging war of whether or not to look at the Cullen's battled on.

I had enough; I couldn't take it anymore, and the thought of him just across the hall, knowing that he's watching me, and not able to look back…

I rose gracefully as I could from my seat, my eyes never leaving the exit door, unfortunately I had to pass _them _on my way out, but I didn't care.

I carried on walking, I had more than half my lunch left, I debated if I should go to the library, after all I do love books, but books were what got me in this mess in the first place.

As I was walking I noticed the music block, I never have music so I never had a reason to go there, an inspiration took place.

Four of the six classrooms were in use, leaving me with the choice of rooms 302 and 306.

306 was better equipped for my musical needs, having a computer and all that hi-tech fancy gadgets, so I felt drawn to that particular room.

Once inside, I connected my ipod to the computer, logging on to my school users site, and blaring another heartfelt song from the speakers.

It was by one of my Favourite singers, Celine Dion, faith.

"_Don't be afraid,_

_Feeling this way,_

_I'm gonna make you understand._

_It's not about you,_

_Cuz I'm the fool,_

_Building castles in the sand…"_

As I sung, I thought of Edward, foolish I know, but I felt that my heart and soul went into the lyrics of this song, our song. "If I act crazy

_Just don't care_

_It doesn't mean I don't want you near_

_This is the story about me and you_

_And it's called…_

_Faith_

_Right beside you is where I'll stay_

_Oh, faith_

_Just take me as I am_

_So please have faith"_

I wanted to believe that I could stay beside him, I was desperate for him to love the angry, stubborn, odd little me.

"_So many times_

_In so many ways_

_I didn't know where to go_

_You gave me a sign _

_And opened my eyes_

_That's the reason why I know…"_

The sound of clapping brought me back down to earth, shattering my moment with Edward.

"I should give you a weeks detention, you know." A young redhead woman, about the same height as me, turned off the sound system on the computer. "Not only did you tamper with some very expensive equipment, you also brought an ipod on school premises." She scowled at me but the corners of her lips turned upwards. "However," she continued, "It's been along time since I heard a Celine Dion number sang like that. So, I got a proposition for you," she was fully smiling at me.

"Yes, miss?" I kept my tone polite, knowing that I was in deep crap.

"Around this time every year, the school will hold a Talent Show," she grimaced at some memory. "We might actually have a chance of raising a decent amount of money this year if you take part." She waited for me to process this.

"What?" she wanted me to sing. In front of people! I never sang in front of anyone apart from my family or my showerhead.

"You can come and rehearse with me on your lunch break, and I have a free fifth period on Mondays and Wednesdays." She tempted.

Well, if you look at it this way: one, I won't have to see the Cullen's during lunch. Two, I get to miss gym twice a week!

"Yeah, I guess." I couldn't help up smile at her.

"Miss Mason." She stuck out her hand.

"Cassie Clarkson." I grinned, talking her hand.

"Well, Cassie, you and I need to get together with the art department, to do some posters. In the meantime, you and I can practice on your vocal skills."

I spent the rest of lunch going over the high notes, discussing different singers and songs and generally having a laugh.

It felt nice to have Miss Mason as a friend, that's what she's like – a friend, because I really needed one right now.

"So, same time, same place tomorrow?" she asked as the final bell rang for class.

"Yes, Miss." I called over my shoulder, as I raced to English, heart racing as always at the prospect of seeing Edward again, which in my case, was very bed.

I was the first to enter my class, what with the music block right next to the language and maths block.

"Glad to see someone is eager to explore the world of Shakespeare!" joked Mr. Willis, as I took my seat, keeping my eyes firmly on my notes that I wrote up in gym, pretending the vampire who just took the seat next to me didn't exist, just like he wanted.

He didn't speak, nor did I, for that matter, I passed him my notes, careful not to touch him.

"If you need them." I unwillingly broke the silence, my eyes never meeting his, from the corner of my eyes, I saw him nod a thanks, talking my notes.

For the next two weeks, my life was based on a routine: singing lessons, classes, talking with friends and teasing my brothers and trying to stop thinking about Edward.

I decided not to tell anyone about my classes with Miss Mason, nice to have something to keep to myself.

But however clock work my routine was, I still found time to break down into a cry over the gorgeous vampire that plagued my dreams, my thought and my actions.

It was then that I started to realize just how seriously I loved him, and that without him I would truly be alone.

No matter how many loving, caring and friendly people, I still felt alone without Edward.

All alone.

Alone.

And there was nothing I could do about it apart from cry.


	7. Chapter 5

Chapter five: Hating.

"I know you're hiding something, so just tell me. _Please_."

Kelly had been wining for the past week, I'm surprised she lasted that long, her moaning became unbearable at some points, almost resulting me into telling her. Almost.

"You'll find out soon." I promised, I said this promise so many times the past week that I felt like a broken record.

"But I want to know _now_." She was such a kid when she did that, an overgrown kid that really deserved timeout on the naughty chair.

"No." I said curtly, losing my patients, we were in the school lunch hall, getting my lunch before I ran off to my secret singing lessons. The past week had been wonderful, I couldn't help but feel smug of my voice, and it seemed like the only good thing going for me at the moment.

I took an apple, sparkling water and a yogurt, I had begun to eat healthy foods, no junk, and already I felt good in myself, I didn't even need to go for a run anymore, but that didn't stop me.

"You can't keep this from me forever, you know." Kelly threatened, as we walked over to her table.

"I don't plan to." I sighed, tired of this conversation, again.

"I wonder why the Cullen's are staring at you." She said suddenly, making me wish we were back on the pervious topic.

"I've got to go." Turning to walk to my lesson, as always, I had to pass the Cullen table to do so.

They were indeed staring at me, all of them, with their shiny golden eyes and angelically pale faces; Edward's was the most handsome of all.

Under his stare I felt my heart beat faster, sending a faster flow of blood through my veins, burning my cheeks. All by one look.

I didn't want to stare back, I really didn't, I but I couldn't help it.

It was like he was drinking me in, in deep with those smothering eyes, butterscotch gold, all warm and inviting.

I felt my legs go weak, I knew if I carried on looking into the depths of those cryptic eyes I would swoon. Why, after all this time, did he suddenly want of look at me like I was the last drop of water in the Sahara desert – or blood in his case?

Alice was glaring at Edward, her pixie-features alive with warning. I know what she was doing – she was trying to tell Edward something, by saying it in her thoughts.

After a moment, or eternity – I couldn't tell, he reluctantly looked away, only to return Alice's glare.

Released from the power of Edward Cullen's eyes, I was free to move at my own will.

"Are you alright, Cass?" Miss Mason asked in concern as soon as she had a chance to get a good look at me.

"Yeah," I replied as innocently as I could, "Why wouldn't I be?" I didn't dare look into her eyes as I lied.

She shrugged, "You seem a little flustered, that's all." If only she knew, I thought bitterly.

I began to walk to my usual seat, by her piano, when she spoke.

"I was hoping that you wouldn't mind helping me put up some posters. I know you want to practice…" she trailed off.

In all honesty, I couldn't care less, as long as I'm out of rang of inhuman golden eyes, I was happy.

"Sure." I smiled, "Kelly's been bugging me about what I've been up to anyway."

She grinned, "Kelly Sullivan?" I nodded, "If that girl found out, it'll be all over this side of Ireland before the end of school."

We both burst into fits of giggles, not sure what we were really laughing at.

When we both recovered, she asked, "Have you told anyone though?"

I shook my head, "but I think Justin's on to us, what with me singing all over the house." I had to laugh, remembering Justin asking me why Celine Dion was having a concert in out bathroom.

We managed to cover the whole school; I stayed well away from the canteen, afraid of Kelly or someone else catching me.

We had a good fifteen minutes to spare, to which, Miss Mason spent telling me about the school's previous talent shows.

"No one has ever gone on by themselves," she told me, "all these silly girl bands singing Britney Spears. I remember one year, we got a boy band _trying_ to sing Westlife." She winced at the tortuous memory. "But you," she continued, "You could win it hands down." She smiled at me proudly, "Have you ever thought of making a career out of your voice?"

The question caught me off guard, making me ponder about what lay ahead in the near future, that is, if a certain vampire does not eat me.

"I've never really thought about it." I answered truthfully.

Miss Mason tilted her head to the side, as if she were examining a piece of modern art, unsure what it was, but sure she liked it anyway.

When the bell rang, always too soon, I dragged myself off to English; the flutter in my chest had become something that I was used to, what with it happening every time I so much as thought of Edward Cullen.

I took my seat next to him, keeping my eyes anywhere but the vampire next to me – something I had taught myself to do over the past two weeks.

"Cassandra?" his musical voice shouldn't be so familier to me, what with I not hearing it for just over two weeks now. I hated the name Cassandra, but the way he said it, in his American tones, it sounded like my name was meant for his lips and his alone.

"Yes, Edward." I felt the familier rush of pleasure of saying his name, yet it was said through gritted teeth, glaring at my textbook.

He paused, probably debating whether or not to continue.

"I was wondering what you were doing during lunch and both Monday and Wednesday's gym lesson." I wasn't surprised that he knew – what I was surprised about was the fact that he didn't know why.

"What," I asked in a sarcastic tone, "haven't you're…_Talents_ helped you out in that one?"

He pondered my words; I knew he caught the hint, I had to look.

"It's the Talent Show, isn't it?" his gaze boring into mine.

"Why do you always answer my question with more questions?" I demanded, but my words lost their punch, I was helpless against his eyes.

He smiled apologetically before answering in a rush. "Alice won't let me … _see_, she's trying to punish me for –" he broke off, his eyes, just for a moment, became vulnerable, but it was gone too soon for me to see any other emotions that were hidden. "And," he continued like nothing had happened, "I haven't come across anyone who was thinking about it at the time."

I pondered this; I like the fact that him not knowing about what I was doing was punishing him. But then again, I didn't like the thought of him being punished.

"While you're in the mood for answering questions," I kept my tone nonchalant, "You can tell me why you care?"

He didn't answer for a long time; I almost thought he wasn't going to answer, when he whispered so low, that I had to strain to hear.

"I don't know."

I wanted to ask him about what he meant by what he said, but I kept my mouth shut for a change.

I didn't want to get hurt again.

Instead of going to gym, I went to Miss Mason's class, thankfully it was Wednesday and I was dying to sing again.

But when I opened the class door, instead of Miss Mason, I found four Cullen's.

Rosalie was at the piano, her long; model body was sitting in a photo-shoot position.

Her husband, Emmett, his large, muscular body was beside the drums, his face a friendly grin.

Jasper, the honey-haired vampire was in the corner farthest away from me, his lean body tense and ridged.

His wife, Alice, her pixie-features alight with joy as I entered, gracefully danced towards me.

"Hi Cassie." She smiled; her high musical voice was like wind chimes.

"Hi…Alice." I replied once I found my voice. "Um, where's Miss Mason?" I scanned the room again, finding no human redhead.

Emmett's booming laughter filled the tiny confines of the room, "She's gone to get Edward."

I felt the familier flutter in my chest – a little embarrassing when four vampires can hear it better than myself.

There was a long silence; the only sound was my heartbeat and our breath, "Why?" I asked when no one supplied an explanation.

"You're about to find out." Alice said mysteriously, her golden eyes turning towards the door.

Miss Mason emerged from the threshold, an almost reluctant Edward in tow; his indescribable beauty took my breath away, quite literally. He suddenly stopped once he saw – or smelt me, his hypnotic eyes bored into mine.

"Alice." Edward growled, his voice menacing.

Every vampire in the room shot him warning looks, while Miss Mason and I stared in stunned silence.

The tiny Cullen ignored her older brother, turning towards the confused music teacher, her dangerously beautiful eyes piercing into dull green.

"We can take it from here, Miss Mason." She said in a low voice, full of authority.

Her reply was something unintelligent, as she stumbled out the room, leaving me alone with five vampires from a book; I resisted the urge to beg her not to leave me.

"Alice," Edward continued once the dazzled human left. "What do you think you are doing?"

"I'm trying to make you happy." Her face was unreadable, but determination shone threw her golden eyes.

"You shouldn't interfere. Cassandra could get hurt, or worse." His face was livid, as he glared at the pixie-vampire; she returned his anger in elfin form.

"Cassie has made her decision, Edward! You can't ignore…"

"Alice, can you hear me? She could get hurt."

"She is standing right here." I interrupted the pair, there bickering was starting to give me a headache and in all honesty, it frightened me.

All eyes turned on me, like they have just remembered I was there, I shifted under the weight of their stare, not daring to meet any unnatural, colour-changing eyes.

"Why am I here?" I demanded my feet, felling my cheeks burn.

Silence.

I looked up to see the looks exchanged between the five Cullen's, their eyes fell on Edward, waiting for his permission.

"Well?" I prompted when no one choose to share.

Alice looked sheepishly at me, "We were actually hoping that you and Edward would…start a fresh." She struggled to find any other words to describe the mission she was on.

Rosalie snorted, receiving warning glances from both Edward and Alice, to which, she ignored.

"If you haven't figured it out already: Edward is in love with you." All vampires stared at her in disbelief, before turning to me with unreadable eyes.

"What?" I gasped, my mouth forming a perfect O.

Rosalie sighed impatiently, "I said…"

"I heard what you said." I interrupted; I shook my head, trying to make sense of the foggy confusion that clouded it.

I turned a glare at the bronze haired angel that I love so much.

"Aren't you going to deny it?" I didn't mean for my words to come out in a pained whisper, they just did.

He sighed, shaking his head. "And lie to you?"

My heart must have stopped, because all five super-sonic hearing vampires looked at me with worry, as my heartbeat froze.

"You're doing it again." I accused.

My accusation puzzled him, "Doing what?"

I gave a small smile, "Answering my questions with more questions." My smiled was returned with an unbelievably handsome crooked grin.

We stared into each other's eyes, trying to figure the other out, when a discreet cough brought us back to earth.

I turned to see Emmett grinning at me, his smile devilish, his eyes alight.

"Edward would like to know, if you would be obliged to attend dinner tomorrow evening."

Everyone apart from me glared at him, he widened his eyes innocently. "Oh, don't take it wrong way. I didn't mean _she_ was on the menu."

"Maybe, you lot should leave me and Cassandra alone for a bit." Edward suggested casually.

"Yeah, good idea." Mocked Emmett, "if she's not afraid to be alone with you."

"I'm not." I added when I could see Edward was about to say something ungentle-man like.

Emmett looked at me with speculation, his butterscotch eyes moving up and down my body.

"Never figured Edward to be a boob man." He observed.

I blushed furiously, making him laugh at my discomfort.

"Emmett." His family warned in union.

I took the seat next to me, I had a feeling that this was going to be a long forty-five minutes, and my eyes began to observe the strange family that were in front of me.

Rosalie and Emmett looked like they were having an argument; I wasn't sure, their voices too low and too fast for human ears to hear.

Edward and Alice stared at each other, having a silent conversation; only the emotions on their faces gave them away.

That left Jasper and me.

Jasper was the newest member to the Cullen family, the only real reason he endured the Cullen's diet was because of his tiny wife. The honey-blonde vampire walked silently yet gracefully towards me, surprising me at the fact that he felt comfortable with a human in such a confined space.

He kept his actions at human pace, probably not wanting to frighten me, of course, he would know the instant I was afraid.

Like Alice and Edward, Jasper also had a gift. He was sensitive to the feelings and emotions around him, he could also manipulate them if necessary. I was suddenly wary of what I might be feeling, not trusting the honest golden eyes that took the seat next to mine.

"You seem confused." He smiled once he was seated. I knew as well has he did, that everyone in the room was listening, even if they pretended otherwise.

"Do I?" I gently rubbed out the creases that knotted my brow with the tips of my fingers, my eyes closed, as I tried to work out the mess I was suddenly flung into.

"Yes," he hesitated, unsure if he should continue "But no matter what you feel, there's no fear." He tilted his head to the side, getting a better look.

"Pretty stupid of me, huh?" I found myself grinning at Jasper, unable to not like him, but whether those feelings were mine or not was hard to tell.

"Normally, yes."

I sighed rolling my eyes, receiving a puzzled look from Jasper and some out-of-the-corner-of-the-eye looks from the rest of the Cullen's.

I jutted a thumb towards myself. "Least normal human you'll ever find." I explained, I was rewarded a smile from the usually brooding vampire.

"How so?" he asked.

I pretended to ponder this, trying to hide a smile as I did so.

"Well, let me see…out of all the places my family could've move to, we moved to the town where some fictional vampires from a book also live." I tapped my lip with my index finger, lost in thought. "I was born into the weirdest family you could ever meet, I can't cook without doing damage…and…I'm addicted to Ben and Jerry ice cream. And I have a weird addiction for shoes" I made a sombre face. "That's about it, really."

I turned to find Jasper looking at me with an amused expression, that the rest of his family mirrored, all golden eyes on me, slight smiles on their faces.  
I made my eyes all wide and innocent. "What?"

"Nothing." Smiled Jasper, careful, I noticed, not to show his teeth. "But you still haven't told me why you feel confused."

I stared into those honest, golden eyes, so alike and yet so different to the vampire of my heart.

"Wouldn't you be?"

His light brows pulled together, the confusion I felt had begun to appear on this flawlessly perfect, pale face.

"I've been hear, what? A month?" when I saw he was about to protest, I quickly moved on. "Six weeks at the latest. And so far I've moved to a town full of vampires from a book. Just about ten minutes ago, I was told that one of them is in love with me, and all honesty, I'm not really sure, what with him having more mood swings than a middle-aged pregnant woman." I threw that in for Edward's benefit, considering he and the rest of his family were eavesdropping on our conversation. "And really, this is all going too fast for me, I don't know about you, what with you going at vampire speed and all that, but for me, this is too fast. So that's why I'm so bloody confused." I huffed, I mean really, how could any of them not see how quick this was all going?

My rant was greeted by silence.

After a long moment, the unnaturally long pause was filled.

"You've got quite a temper, don't you?" Emmett asked.

I turned away from Jasper's stunned face to meet Emmett's broad, grinning one. His dark curly hair was devilish, only making him more like a young but naughty schoolboy.

"Look – I'd better go." I rose out of my seat, trying my best to hide the shaking that was corrupting my balance. No one tried to stop me, as I exited out the doorway, in fact, after Emmett's comment on my temper issues, no one said anything at all.

It was still fifth period, but instead of walking to the gym, I walked towards the school parking lot.

I couldn't go anywhere; I would have to leave Justin behind without a lift home, no matter how tempting the thought was I stayed in the immobilized car.

I stared dejectedly out the window, rain lashing down, disturbing my view.

I had just about thrown away my only chance of happiness.

I know that sounds melodramatic, but for the rest of my life, I was going to keep asking myself: How would it have been if I had said yes? How would my life have turned out if I had just told Edward that I love him? I would be Bella, that's what.

Even in my thoughts, her name stirred foreign jealousy, a jealousy that I still can't fully understand. It's selfish of me to feel jealous at the though of Edward being with another woman instead of me, I should feel guilty and ashamed of wanting such an angelic creature like Edward.

But I do want him, I am being selfish and no, I am not ashamed or guilty in the slightest. Oh, and I still would cheerfully kill Bella at the quickest possible chance.

"Why is my life such a mess?" I wondered out loud to no one in particular.

Maybe I was one of those unlucky sods in life that goes through a similar experience and end up in the nut house.

Was that what was destined for me? The nut house?

I was sure even white padded walls wouldn't keep vampires out or the sight of me in a straight jacket wouldn't warn them off.

I always knew I would end up alone.

Well, not alone, I always thought that I would die some lonely old woman with a bunch of smelly cats to claim inheritance and for one of Justin's money grabbing children to kill them for it.

My stubbornness and bad temper was going to make me a lonely old woman, kicking herself for not talking the chance of happiness when it had come.

I'm already kicking myself.

I wonder if Edward would let me change my mind or was it a once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity?

Whatever it was, it's gone now and all I can do now is hate myself for it.

After a while, Justin climbing into the front seat interrupted my self-loathing, his usually mocking face was sombre, clearly picking up my mood.

"Do I want to know?" he asked, starting the car.

"No, I don't think you do." I sighed, laying my head against the window at the side, I rubbed the fogged window to see the rest of the school carelessly chatting and having a laugh.

As Justin pulled out of the lot, we past a silver Volvo, surrounding it were the five vampires Cullen's; all eyes seemed to be one me.

I turned my head away, but not before a traitor tear fell.

And so begins the rest of my miserable and pointless life.


	8. Chapter 6

Chapter six: Changes.

There were three things I wanted to do when I got home.

Firstly, I wanted to take a nice, long, hot bubble bath.

The smell of lavender-scented bath salts filled the bathroom, seeming to ease me into a dream-like state.

The water was hot, really hot, an almost burn your skin hot. But I didn't care; I allowed the burning, lavender water to blanket itself around my body, relaxing my muscles and removing the tension from my back.

I stayed there until my hands resembled prunes, my skin soaking up the moisture, my mind drifting in and out of awareness.

But even the luxury from my steaming bath could not rid me of the images that flashed underneath my eyelids.

Even now, Edward still haunted my life. His voice, his face, his smile, it was all there and it will always be.

I remember when I used to wish for him; I used to wonder what he would say at that moment, how he would comfort me when I felt like the whole world was against me.

When the water finally start to turn cold, I decided to get ready for my second task.

I nourished my body in moisturiser; the buttermilk was almost good enough to eat, I also blow-dried and straightened my hair, ridding my head of its usual curly mess.

Then I slipped into an olive green silk nightdress that my mother bought me for my birthday last year, its black-laced bodice flattered my curvy body instead of making me look like a fool.

Once dressed, I slipped back into my bedroom, undetected by my family, to do something I should have done a long time ago.

I took four books of my shelf; all four resembled each other with the same black background and author.

Breaking dawn, eclipse, new moon and twilight.

I sat myself down in the middle of the floor, my hand already reaching for the first book of the series.

Twilight didn't feel heavy; in fact it felt quite light. It was strange how such a small book could cause such havoc in my life, well, not anymore.

I opened the book – for what I hoped to be the last time – its pages was wearied down to almost as thin as tissue paper.

_I'd never given much thought to how I would die… _the opening words of the preface greeted me, mocked me.

I tore at the page, releasing all that anger that was building up inside me for weeks; I exterminated the book till it was nothing but shreds, till I could never read another word from it again.

The other three shared the same fate, all destined for tomorrow's fire where they could do me no more harm.

I left the pile of shredded paper in a heap in the middle of my floor, moving on to the final of my three tasks.

I lay on top on my bed, not bothering with any blankets and cried myself to sleep.

I almost never cried, but ever since I moved here, ever since I met Edward Cullen, I've been crying like a newborn baby.

I cried at the thought of him, the way he smiled, the way he spoke, and the way he would look at you with those cryptic eyes.

We would never be together, not matter what he said, what his family thought or no matter how much I wished, prayed and begged for it. Never.

I must have been dreaming at this point, because the image of him was almost too real for my conscious mind to conjure on its own.

It was dark out, what little light there was came from the large full moon that hung outside on a painted blanket of midnight black, the occasional twinkle of a faraway star.

I rose from the bed, picking up the bits of paper as I did so and walked towards my bedroom window.

Instead of burning them, I would scatter them, like the ashes of a dead person. I opened the window, gazing out across the blackened landscape, bits of paper started to stir, some flew free out into the darkness.

"I will never read these words again." I vowed, releasing the rest of what made up all four books.

Ghost-like fragments of white stood out against the black of the night, fluttering harmlessly in the night breeze and away from me.

I stared out at the darkened night, my eyes searching for nothing in particular, at least, that what I was trying to tell myself.

Maybe it was because he was on my mind or that I allowed my hopes to go over the invisible line, whatever it was, I saw an unnatural white down by the forest beside my house.

I was almost certain it was one of the Cullen's, an eerie white standing in contrast with black of the trees.

"Edward?" I whispered as loud as I could, feeling like an idiot all the same. "Edward, are you there?" I leaned out further to get a better look. "Edward, _please..."_ please what? Please come into my bedroom and let me tell you how much I love you? Please give me another chance?

In a blink of an eye, the whiteness was gone; maybe it was just a piece of paper or even just my imagination, whatever it was, it was gone now.

Sighing, I turned back to my bed, ignoring the tiny pieces that remained on my floor; I'll make Justin eat them tomorrow.

"Cassandra?" I whirled around at the voice, my heart already kicking into overdrive at the sight of Edward Bloody Cullen sitting casually on my windowsill. "You called?" even when his body showed no awkwardness, his voice, his musical and dreamy voice held uncertainty.

I sighed in relief, already a smile tugged at my lips, for some reason I wanted to cry. Again. "You came." I wanted to shout, but with my family sleeping I thought a whisper would be better, I knew he would still be able to hear.

"Yes," he paused; even from the darkness of the room he was still handsome. "May I come in?"

I suddenly realised that I was wearing a thin-almost-see-through dress and that Edward Cullen, a fictional vampire, was in my room. Bella Swan, eat your heart out.

"Yeah, come in." I took an unnecessary step back, giving more than enough room.

It was weird having him in my bedroom, under the eerie moonlight, casting shadows in already dark corners.

As always, he was beautiful; bronze hair that was almost black without light. His golden eyes stood out against the darkness, like a cat's, almost glowing. From the pale rays of moonlight, his skin was pure white – like a ghost's – and this angel stood in my room, looking out of place in a teenage girl's bedroom.

There was a long silence, to which I filled by looking at him, noting for the first time what kind of clothes he wore.

He wore a simple white shirt and dark blue jeans, both which seemed to have designer origins.

"I need to explain." I said suddenly, surprising both Edward and myself.

Even in the darkness of my room, I could still see his eyebrows rise as confusion coloured the voice. "Explain?"

I sighed with impatiens, was he really going to make this any more difficult than it already is? "Yes, Edward. I need to explain about today."

There was a short paused. "You have nothing to explain about." His voice was now rid of any emotions, only making me feel angrier. I mean, how dare he? He had just about confessed that he loved me and doesn't want an explanation why I stormed out.

I could see that he was about to speak again, slowly ebbing away from the real reason to why I called him up here.

"Oh, shut up Edward and let me explain already." I didn't mean to snap – well maybe I did – but it came out slightly harsher than I intended. Like his voice, Edward's face became a mask of any real emotion. Suddenly, this didn't seem like a good idea.

"Maybe you should sit down." I suggested, his reaction made me want to stall. He sat down on the wooden chair at my desk while I perched myself on the edge of my bed.

Silence.

"Your probably wondering why I'm not jumping for joy when you – I mean, Rosalie said that you loved me." I paused, waiting for him to protest, when he didn't, I continued. "Because I am, in my own weird way." I paused to take a deep breath. "Do you remember that book I told you about? Twilight?"

Silence, then "Yes." His voice still hid what he was really feeling.

"Do you remember everything I told you about it?" I asked the Edward-shaped figure that was now covered in darkness across my room.

"Yes."

"Do you remember Bella?"

Another pause, "Yes." His voice was unsure, not knowing where this was going.

So he remembered about Bella, how she was the only human that could make him happy.

"Edward, if you are real, what's stopping Bella to be too?" I hated myself for saying it, hating the fact that what I said was true and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

And why the hell was I telling him? Did I want him to go find Bella? I wanted him to be happy, but what if I could make him happy? I peered at the silhouette that was Edward, could I make him happy?

There was another pause, the longest one yet. I wondered if Edward was thinking about Bella, about all the wonderful possibilities if he just jumped out of my window and went to Bella. I should have kept my big mouth shut, I van really be a dumb ass sometimes

After the moment had passed, he said. "Is that what it's about? About Bella?" to my ears, he sounded relieved and angry at the same time.

"What else could it be about?" I asked, confused, was there another Bella I was unaware of? God, how many are there?

He laughed bitterly. "How about the fact that I'm a _monster_." He spat the last word out like a vile taste in his mouth.

A monster? Did he…? Oh, yeah. How stupid of me! I forgot that Edward in the book always hated himself and that he thought vampires were soulless creatures of the night.

"You're not a monster." I said quietly.

I really shouldn't have said that.

He was out of his seat before my next heartbeat and in a blink of an eye; he had me on my back, pinned and trapped against the bed.

My heart rate picked up, if anyone where to walk in, they would think we were trying to do "the deed" or "the nasty" as Justin liked to put it.

I was eternally grateful that he could not read my mind, what with all the un-lady-like things running through my head.

"I could kill you now." He growled, bringing me back to the present.

"I know." I was quite proud of myself when my voice sounded calm.

His eyes bored into mine, trying to find the fear that I couldn't feel, then he whispered. "As if you could run." I froze; book-Edward had said the same things to Bella in the meadow.

Edward must have mistaken my stillness for the fear he had been waiting for.

"As if you could fight."

I stared back into those gold eyes, as hard and as cold – like his body – as the metal itself. Did he really think that I was afraid of him? That I don't love him?

"As if I would want to." I whispered back, voice fear-free.

He was suddenly gone, pressed up against the opposite wall, his strange eyes troubled.

"You want the wrong things, Cassandra."

I stared him back in the eye, courage rising. "Pretty much."

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, something he did when he was angry or frustrated or both.

"When will you realise that you could get hurt?" he demanded through gritted teeth

"That's not the point." I sighed, shaking my head. Were we really back to this again?

"Oh?" he sounded just as frustrated as me. "Then what is the point Cassandra? Because I fail to see it."

"The point is Edward," Did he really have to keep calling me Cassandra? "Is that by tomorrow morning, you would have found…_her._" I couldn't say her name, not now, I was sure I would cry.

"What?" he gasped, his eyes widening.

"You don't love me Edward, you love…her. And even if you did love me, it wouldn't be the same!" I cried out the last word, knowing if I continued at this rate, I would wake somebody.

He stared at me with an unfathomable expression; did he really not see what the real problem was?

I felt the sting of hot tears around my eyes, my throat felt tight making it hard to breathe and a crushing weight was compressing against my chest, my heart.

"You think that I don't love you," he whispered in a cool and calm voice. "That I would love some girl from a book."

The tears that were threatening to overflow weren't bluffing, warm drops of salty tears flowed freely down my cheeks but I would not wipe them away, I would not let him know I was crying. Again.

"I know you do." My voice was raw, from trying to hold back a sob that wanted to cry out.

"You know nothing." Even though he was trying not to show the anger he really felt, it still seeped through.

"I know more than you think."

He sighed, "Cassandra…"

"Can you please stop calling me that." I snapped. "Cassie is fine Edward." I glared at him, instead of ogling at him like I normally did. "I asked you to come up here for a reason: so I can tell you that I _do_ love you! And I don't mean from the stupid book either. I'm not scared of you – and yes, I should be – but I'm not. I'm also not Bella, Edward. I'm not." The final two words came out in a painful whisper, finally showing the pain and misery I am going through.

There was silence, while my confession sunk in. I wondered what Edward was thinking round about now. But then, I realised that I really didn't want to know.

He very slowly walked over to me, his eyes never leaving mine as he did so.

He knelt in front of me, so that our eyes were level and said intently:

"I don't care if you not Bella, I love you."

My whole world went still, nothing mattered, only me and him.

Not me and Edward Cullen, vampire from twilight.

Just me and him, Edward.

"I love you, too." I whispered, trying my best not to break down into a dance and scream at the top of my lungs saying: He loves me!

His smile was breath taking, like everything else about him, he gently reached out with a long pale hand.

He was hesitant, unsure if he was able to touch me with out thirsting for my blood and killing me.

His hand was cold and hard when it touched my cheek – like marble.

There was a raging war of emotions that took place behind his eyes:

Fear, pain, wonder, joy and pride…love.

Although his hand was cold, I suddenly felt so hot. I became so aware of myself and my surroundings. I praised the Lord that I took that bath, resulting in me shaving my legs and doing my hair. I just hoped that I didn't leave unwanted things lying around, like underwear or pads or…

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, bursting through my thoughts.

I smiled wryly. "I was hoping that I didn't leave any underwear lying around." Repeating my thoughts.

"Oh." He looked slightly embarrassed but like he also wanted to laugh, it looked really cute.

"Don't worry, I didn't." I chuckled at his discomfort. I grinned evilly. "If you're wondering, right now I'm thinking that you look really cute when you're embarrassed."

"Anyone ever tell you not to call a vampire cute?"

"Oh yeah." I said solemnly. "Alongside telling me to do the hokey-pokey to warn off the fairies."

It was his turn to chuckle. "You _have_ got a temper, don't you?"

I rolled my eyes, muttering. "Look who's talking."

He let that one slip, his marble-like hand still resting lightly on my cheek. "Do you mind if…?" I looked over sheepishly at my bed, feeling one blush turn into the next. "It's just, I'm kind of tired."

Edward smiled and rose, as I climbed into bed, covering my thin silk wrapped body with thick blankets.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" I demanded, once I saw Edward make his way towards the window.

"I thought you…" he trailed off, looking at me with confusion.

For some reason, I found this whole scenario funny. I felt myself burst into a fit of giggles; I covered mouth with my hand, afraid to wake somebody.

I shook my head, still unable to speak.

"You want me to stay?" he sounded almost relieved.

I smiled, still giggling slightly. "And let you stay out in the cold?"

His answering grin was guilt-free, I realised that he had been staying round my house without my knowing.

"How long?" I asked as he sat down at the end of the bed.

He knew. "The day I returned to school." The day he first talked to me.

"What's you're Favourite colour?" he asked, taking me off guard.

I thought about it. "Green."

"Animal?"

"Any with four legs." I replied.

"Number?"

"Five and twenty-one."

"Gemstone?"

"Onyx."

"Food?"

"Ice cream."

"Music?"

"Any with lyrics that has a heartfelt meaning, like Taylor Swift or Celine Dion."

"Book?"

"Any Fiction-Romance."

We carried on like this through out the night, question after question, until I found my way into his cold arms and fell asleep.

I slept peacefully that night, finding comfort in the marble arms of my vampire sweetheart.

I dreamt of him too, of us. It was the life he and Bella were supposed to have, only it was me instead of the clumsy Isabella Swan.

I was a vampire, he was a vampire and we had a half vampire- half human baby and lived happy ever after.

Things were about to change, for better or for worse.

But three things I was sure about.

First, Edward Cullen was real and a vampire.

Second, there was a part of him that thirsted for my blood.

And third, I was in irrevocably and madly in love with him.

And he loves me back.

Me!

Me and Edward Cullen.

Edward Cullen and me.

And no Bella Swan either!


	9. Chapter 7

Chapter seven: Troubles

When I said that I slept peacefully – considering the fact that I haven't slept well the past few weeks – there was one occurrence.

I was dreaming of Edward and myself; both happy and Bella-free, when I suddenly stirred.

At first I wasn't sure what it was, being a little dopy from sleep, but I knew something was missing.

Edward.

Of course I can dream about him, yet when I wake up, I completely forget he was even there. Shameful.

I was tucked under the warmth of the covers instead of cold but comforting arms. I looked around my room, searching for the vampire that wasn't there. I pushed myself into a sitting position, my fingertips brushing against a smooth textured material. A piece of paper.

I reached out towards my bedside locker to switch on my poka-dot lamp

I scrunched my eyes at the too much light, blinking a couple of times before smoothing out the folded piece of paper

It was from my Me To You stationary set that my best friend Annie bought for me just before I left London so we could stay in touch. I smiled at the though of Annie; her mad red curls, freckles that littered the bridge of her nose and her cockney accent. Imagine how she would react if I told her about Edward.

Her milky-tea brown eyes would grow wide, small glossed-lips forming the perfect O.

Then she would shatter he whole innocence look by saying something like: "Jay-_sus_ Cassie, I hope you two are playing safe." But of course, both Edward and me aren't. Not sex, but the whole vampire-human thing. We are far from safe, but for some worrying reason, that doesn't scare me.

I forced myself to concentrate, I read Edward's note:

Cassie, when you read this, I shall be gone. Please don't worry, it's just the weather is going to be "pleasant" today and so I left before dawn to return to my family.

Love, Edward. 

I smiled at the word "love", loving the strange but amazing feeling that warmed me.

I looked towards my window; the redness of the sun was just rising, dominating the midnight blue with oranges and reds.

I never really liked the sun – well, more the heat – but this was truly breath taking. It saddened me a little that I could not share it with Edward, that he had to hide away because of it.

Dressed and ready before anyone had even stirred, I made myself some coffee and sat down. Like everything about me, I liked both my tea and coffee strong, sugar in my coffee, none in my tea.

I brooded my relationship with Edward over my No.1 sister mug, watching the sun rise higher into the once dark sky.

I know I said this before, but I couldn't help but feel like we were going to fast, less than six weeks and I've found my soul mate. Although, I probably shouldn't mention that to Edward, what with him being all "vampires are soulless creatures that are dammed for eternity" and all that stuff. I can't keep pretending that he is the Edward from the book, for all I know he's the opposite. Can this be love? I know that I think I love him, but I'm not sure if it's the same. Yes, I felt so helpless when I thought Edward didn't love me. Yes, I cried more in this month alone than I have in my entire life thanks to Edward. And yes, the thought of losing him still leaves me in a worryingly fragile state.

Is that love? To feel that even life it's self has no purpose without one particular being? If it were, then I would advise anyone who would listen not to try it. It will only leave you confused and in my case, angry.

How could he be sure that he loves me? I know I'm a different matter; I have at least an idea what he's like. He, on the other hand only knows a very little about me, to which he only learned last night.

I guess this is all my fault, I wished for him.

I read about a bad-tempered, self-loathing vampire who dramatically changes with the love of a human girl, and I was the one who wished to be that human girl.

So, here I am. Only, I'm not sure what to make of the current situation. I don't know anything about Edward, I don't know if he loves me. Hell, I don't even know if I love him.

Ok, the last one was a lie.

I do know that I love him, on account of those long and tearful nights I have just endured the past month and a half. I'm a very proud person, although I would never admit it, I would never have lost a wink of sleep over some guy for no God-damn reason. I know that for a fact, I haven't cried for almost three years – ever since Rover died – so why let Edward Cullen ruin my score? I'll tell you why: I love him.

A part of me hated myself for admitting it, hated myself because I had just given someone I hardly even know, the power to break me. Yes, I may come out tough as old boots, but deep down I know it's just a façade, something that was needed on the dangerous streets of London, where you could get stabbed before lunch time.

I was so lost in my own personal bubble that I didn't even realize that my father had just spoken to me.

"Somewhere nice, pet?" he asked, pouring himself some orange juice. My father was a plumber, kind of handy, but nothing special like a movie star or a famous explorer. I've always loved my dad – even when I say otherwise. I was always his little girl, his princess, kind of nice to know that a girl could always count on her daddy's love.

"Yeah." I say, not really sure if I mean it.

My day passed without incident and also without Edward, I tried not to get my hopes up when I entered the cafeteria or when I walked to my English seat. I failed miserably.

Kelly, who've I grown quite fond off, pestered me about the talent show. A few of my other friends – though I would really call them acquaintances – also asked me, without much interest, about what act I had lined up. Although Kelly begged me to spill, I remained quite on the fact that I was singing. I wanted to keep it a surprise.

Once at home, everyone went to do their own thing; Justin was playing on the Nintendo DS (trying to beat my high score.), mum was out in the garden, in an attempt to make it halfway decent. And Matt had locked himself in his room, no doubt doing something that the rest of the family wouldn't be able to understand. My father was still at work, so that left me with three hours to kill before dinner. I needed to talk to somebody – more pacifically, Annie.

I bounded up the stairs to my attic bedroom, already reaching for the slight bugle in my jean pocket for my mobile.

Setting on my bed, I pressed the call button.

It took several rings before I got a slightly slurred response.

"What?" a familier cockney accent demanded.

"How much have you been drinking?" I asked, ignoring her half-drunken question.

"Jay-_sus _Cassie, how long did it take for you to find "Annie" in your contacts list?"

"It took awhile," I replied dryly, "I put you under "Jackass" you see?"

I heard a chuckle down the line, clearly she wasn't _that_ drunk.

"It's good to hear from you." She said at last, I could almost see her smiling knowingly, a slight nodding if the head.

"Yeah, well, I needed to know if you could make it to my wedding." I said in a serious tone, resisted the urge to laugh.

"You're shittin' me." She yelled causing me to almost drop the phone. "You're parents wouldn't let you get married."

I gently massaged my right ear, switching my phone to the left. "Hell, you know that was over ninety decibels, right?" I heard her tutt impatiently, "And, before you have a fit, no, I'm not getting married." _Just falling madly, deeply and truly in love with a fictional vampire from my favourite book ever._ I thought bitterly.

"Then what is happening in the back of beyond?"

"Oh," I said mildly, "This and that."

"A guy?" she asked sharply, hitting the nail on the head.

I laughed uneasily, "Guilty as charged."

"What's he like?" she was getting into full question mode.

"Tall, pale, reddish-brown hair, golden-eyed." _Gorgeous, beautiful, handsome, amazing…_

"What's his name?"

I froze; I know I never told anyone about the books – most people I knew back in London didn't know I could read – but knowing my luck, she would have found out.

"Well?" she prompted when I didn't answer.

"Edward Cullen." I almost reluctantly said.

Pause. "Sounds rich."

I groaned, "Do you always have to think like that?"

She made her tone innocent. "Well, I'm just saying. From what you've told me, he sounds hot and from the way you suddenly decide to call me, he must be special. So, what's the harm in checking to see if loaded too?"

"How's thing's back home?" I asked, ignoring the question.

"Oh, this and that." Her tone had suddenly become remote and lifeless, like a machine.

"You're dad and Emily still fighting?" I sympathised.

"Yeah," she sighed, all tired and worn out.

"That'll explain the drink." I accused.

"I'm not drinking," she said defensibly, "There was this party, and Paul Franklin asked me out…"

"Paul Franklin?" I repeated sharply, an image of a shabby, gangly, greasy haired boy filled my mind.

"Fuck, Annie. The guys got "womanizer" written all over him."

"I know, I know. And the experience shows."

I was horrified at the thought. "God, you didn't…please tell me you didn't…"

"Sleep with him?" I heard her warm laugh ringing in my ears. "Yeah. Don't worry though, it was all-safe."

"That's wrong, you know that?" I shook my head, trying to rid the images that filled my mind.

"You wouldn't have said that if it was about you and the delicious Edward Cullen."

"It's not like that." I said, feeling myself blush, this time I did not shake away the images of Edward and I. Of him and me: his arms around me, my body crushing against his, our lips meeting.

"It never is with you, is it?"

I could feel myself getting hot, "I mean," she continued, "You never even had a _real_ boyfriend. Just crushes, kisses and flirts."

"I'll call you, ok?" I sighed, feeling better but not better enough for this conversation.

"If I don't get a full report of this Edward by Saturday, I'll call you. Understood?" my red-headed best friend threatened

"Yes miss." I said in an innocent schoolgirl voice.

"Over and out."

"Bye." I said before pressing the end button.

I felt slightly guilt calling Annie, burdening her with my problems; she had some of her own. Her father and his girlfriend Emily had this on-off relationship normally caused by money or some bit on the side.

There were many a times when Annie would escape to my place when an argument broke out, we would stay in and watch some romantic comedy with some fit lads in them. Then we would stay up late talking, eating my secret stash of galaxy chocolate and try on my wardrobe – nicking some items from my mother's as well. And then there were times when Annie didn't come to my home, the times when she would call at an un-holy hour, drunken and depressed, asking me to pick her up and share my double bed. Now, I worry about her too. Who's she going to call when she needs a lift and has no money for a cab? Paul Franklin? The boy would take advantage of her drunken state in the back of his dad's rusted red beetle. Classy.

Did her father and his gold-digger not realize that there was a sixteen-year-old girl who is still hurting from the loss of her mum? Neither of them cares whether or not she returned home for a whole week, as long as it didn't cause them any trouble, nor are they interested in the fact that Annie lost her virginity at the age of thirteen to a seventeen year old high-school drop out who planned to live of his mum.

I needed a run.

I needed to run all the problems out of my system.

So, changing out of my jeans into some comfy tracksuit bottoms and plain white t-shirt, my ipod blaring the sound of Paramore, I walked out into the frosty October air.

The wind stung the bare flesh of my arms, making the ivory skin a blotchy pink, numbing them.

I wanted to feel numb, only all over. If I were numb, my problems wouldn't matter. Because I was numb.

It's weird how adults would say that the young were carefree and ignorant to the real world, having it easy.

Adults are ignorant to the fact that some children aren't so blissfully unaware of the troubles that surround them. I doubt none of them knows about vampires.

So here I am now, in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by green field and darkening skies. It probably doesn't sound frightening at all, but it was completely isolated. Not a sound could be here apart from my ipod and me. To make matters worse, the song: Mad World begun to play, the eerie and haunting lyrics and lonely piano keys filled the silence.

I love this song, although it's about suicide, it has real meaning to it. It came from the heart. But now, alone in an unknown field, a good distance away from home, I felt scared.

"_I find it kind of funny,_

_I find it kind of sad._

_The dreams of which I'm dying,_

_Are the best I've ever had…_

_Mad world._

_Mad world."_

I felt my heart rate pick up, the feeling of not being alone itched through me. I started to jog lightly back in the direction that I came, trying to shake off the unnerving feeling of being watched as I went, my eyes wandering to the forest to the east every so often.

Halfway home, it started to lash down with rain, soaking me to the very core. I was shivering when I got home, not all because of the cold, the uneasy feeling still rested in the pit of my stomach, it seems my run did nothing to ease my troubles but only brought a whole pile on.

"Cassie, you're drowned." My mother exclaimed the obvious as I walked in the back door from the kitchen.

"Really?" I asked sarcastically. "I never would have noticed."

"Fine then," she replied casually. "I won't tell you about the nice young man that came calling for you while you were out."

Edward?

"Who?" I asked, afraid to get my hopes up.

"Thomas Something, nice green eyes."

I felt my heart sink, stupid, unreliable vampire.

"Oh." I said, not bothering to hide the utter disappointment that I felt.

"Cassandra." She warned. "Don't be ungrateful."

"How am I ungrateful?" I demanded.

"The boy was worried about you, said you weren't yourself at school and came all this way to see if your alright." She took out bits of her anger about my "ungratefulness" on the onion she was chopping. The poor onion…I mean Tom.

Latter that night, while we sat round the dinner table, my mother mentioned Tom's visit to the rest of the family. The all gaped at me, trying to figure out why I had so suddenly become appealing to the male population.

"Maybe Irish men like breasts." Concluded Justin, stuffing his face with potato and steak.

"Justin." My parents warned in union.

"But its true." Piped up Matt. " ninety-two percent of the male population find women with "a bit of meat" on them more attractive."

"Shut up." I replied calmly before filling my mouth with a bit of food.

There was an awkward silence.

This frustrated me more; did they find it so impossible that some guy could actually like me? I'm not ugly nor am I dumb, so what's not to like? Ok, maybe the whole speak-your-mind thing and tough attitude wasn't the most…appealing thing about me. I chewed and swallowed my food without really tasting it, looking at each member of my family.

My mother sat opposite me, looking like one of those natural models, the ones that didn't need plastic surgery. She looked happy, content with her weird little family and their new life in the country.

Her husband, my father, sat at the head of the table, engrossed by his meal, looking slightly worn out, but he too seemed happy.

Then there was Justin, who sat in between our parents, chewing with his mouth open. If girls saw him eat, I doubt they would find him attractive anymore; maybe that's why he had never lasted with a girl more than two weeks. Of course there was no denying that my older brother was handsome, though I would never mention it – it would go to his head, he too, didn't seem troubled or unhappy.

Lastly, it was my younger brother Matt. He was eating his dinner with a thoughtful expression, something he wore quite often these days.

Matt enjoyed school here, he had made friends quite quickly, and I had a secret suspicion that there was a girl at school he likes. I remember him telling the family proudly that he wanted to ask some friends to come over. They will be here this Saturday; I must remember to ask Matt about some math homework before then.

My whole family was so happy, so carefree.

It's a pity I was the one to suffer the agony and the bliss of falling in love with a vampire. I was the only one troubled by the danger of Annie's life as well as mine. And to top it all of, I seemed to have an unwanted crush, Kelly's crush, Tom.

The room had been so quite after I had spoken, just the soft scrape and clink of the metal cutlery against the plates.

My mother took a sip of water before clearing her throat, everyone at the table turned expectantly towards her.

"Have I have little announcement to make." She admitted, blushing slightly under her golden-dusted skin.

Once she was sure she had everyone's attention, she continued.

"While I was out this morning, I met a lovely woman called Miss Griffin, she's in her sixties, anyway, we got talking and she told me that she needed help with her florist shop in town. She said that she wasn't as young as she used to be. Bottom line is: I got the job! I start Saturday morning…"

Matt whined at her. "But mum, my friends are coming over this Saturday." The poor kid looked heart broken.

My mother looked expectantly at my father. "Working." Was all he said. Her gaze turned to Justin, from the look on his face, the answer was clear, "I've got football practice." And carried on eating. Finally, her hopeful eyes turned to me, so did Matt's, how could I refuse?

"Oh, go on then." I sighed, secretly pleased that I was in charge of the house for a good few hours.

I took a shower before going to bed, trying to shake off the lingering uneasiness from today from the pit of my stomach.

I pondered if I should wait for Edward, would he even come?

I was asleep before I could find out, curled up beneath my duvet…

It was dark, really dark.

It took me awhile to realize where I was, I was in the field I ran from today. It was cold, though there was hardly enough wind to stir the trees. I could see darker shapes against the blackness, tree-like shapes. If this place was scary this afternoon, it was petrifying now, I heard nothing, and I barely saw anything, the uneasiness of today came crashing back, I turned around franticly to find away home, more than a little surprised that Edward Cullen was right behind me.

His inhuman beauty never cessed to amaze me, flawlessly pale skin that almost glowed through the darkness, burning golden eyes and a tousle of bronze hair that I itched to run my fingers through.

Though I doubt with the look on Edward's face, I will be running my fingers through anything.

He looked like a vampire. I know he _is_ a vampire, but still, he looked so…inhuman.

And so hungry.

"Run." He whispered, pain and longing evident on his god-like face.

He looked so sad, so hurt. I wanted to reach out and comfort him, just maybe hold him…

"Run." He yelled, glaring at my hand that was sub-consciously moving towards his face. His glare turned to me, like golden fire that blazed with warning.

I tutted my chin out stubbornly, standing my ground.

"No."

I expected him to protest, at the very least glare at me, but the burning eyes were looking beyond me, toward the shadows of the forest.

He spun me around until he was in front of me, crouching possessively. A menacing snarl issued from his lips, which were curled up to expose the perfect teeth, making him more animal than human. A shadow stirred from were Edward's now furious gaze settled, causing him to snarl once again.

This one was more frightening than the first, sending vibrations through my bones.

"Edward…?" I asked, feeling my pulse throb through my throat.

At the sound of my voice, the shadows stirred again, whatever was lurking there began to approach into view.

Before I had a chance to see who or what was hiding in the darkness, Edward lunged.


	10. Chapter 8

Chapter eight: Complements

I jolted awake, hot and sweaty from my sleep. I looked around franticly, but found nothing out of place, sighing, I turned to my alarm clock.

6:30 claimed the glowing red light, moaning slightly, I detached myself from my bed and walked towards the bathroom for first claim on the shower.

After showering, I blow-dried and straighten my hair while munching on some cereal as I did so. For the second time in a row, I was ready before everyone else; I greeted a very sleepy Justin good morning and received a very unpleasant finger gesture in return. With nothing to do, I peeked out the curtained window more than once, checking making sure the clouded grey sky stayed that way.

It was on my fifth check to my window that I noticed a sliver Volvo in our driveway, concealed by the foggy morning mist.

I looked over at my brothers, pleased to see that they were still eating and made my way towards the door, ignoring their questions.

The chilly air stung at my face, no doubt turning it pink, which was unnecessary because of the fact, that in Edward Cullen's presence, I always end up with crimson cheeks.

"Good morning." He called pleasantly getting out of his car as I made my way towards him.

"Morning." I greeted him back, trying to sound casual.

We fell silent; I took the opportunity to fully process him.

As always, his tousle of bronze hair was in array of mess, that made him look incredibly sexy, his rich honey-gold eyes were surprisingly warm and open. All his features were perfect, straight, angular and defined. Dark blue jeans and a rich olive green sweater were the lucky clothes that got to cling to his body in the most flattering way.

When my eyes finally returned to his, amusement shone, making me cross my arm over my chest in a weak attempt to hide myself from those memorising eyes.

His perfectly curved lips formed a crooked smile that quite literally took my breath away, leaving me with an over-excited heart, scarlet cheeks and a somersaulting stomach.

"Do you want to ride with me to school?" the sudden change in his eyes caught me off guard, making him look vulnerable and unsure, as genuine uncertainty became clear on his flawless face.

I debated the best way to accept without seeming desperate or obsessed – although I was, he just didn't need to know.

"If your offering," I smiled, unable to resist. "I'll just get my bag."

As I walked through the threshold, my mother and her sons who were shooting questions at me left, right and centre pounced on me.

"Is he giving you a lift?"

"Do you like him?"

"Has he asked you out on a date?"

"Does he plan on leaving you in a field again?" the last one came form Justin, a low blow on my account. His remarks made everyone fall silent, finally giving me a chance to speak.

"Yes mum, he's giving me a lift and no, he hasn't asked me out." I turned to Matt, "Yes, I _do_ like him. And no," I stared coldly at my older brother. "He isn't planning to leave me in a field – he never did – so just drop it, ok?" I looked at the trio with puppy dog eyes, the ones that always make my dad melt, and willed them to shine with unshed tears.

"Ok." Shrugged my mother and made her way back into the kitchen, a silent Justin in tow.

"Cass?" Matt asked, looking down at his feet. "Could you pick up some stuff for tomorrow? Please?" he raised his baby blue eyes, floppy strands of blonde hair getting in their way.

"Ice cream, sweets, fizzy-pop and a movie?" I asked. It was the standard friend-coming-over list.

"Can you get a scary movie?" he pleaded with a hopeful expression.

Before I had a chance to reply, my mother called from the kitchen, "No horror." In that really scary adults voice.

"Sorry, Matt." I sighed, winking as he handed over a twenty-euro note and went to retrieve my bag.

This time, I did not hesitate to walk towards the silver Volvo, sliding the passengers' seat, I was only half-surprised to find only Edward and myself occupying it.

"No family today?" I asked, trying to ignore my heart rate and the strange and foreign feelings welling up inside me.

"No, they are taking a ride with Rosalie today." He replied in a very alluring voice as he started his car.

Once again, we indulged in a comfortable silence; the soft purr of the engine lulled us into a dangerous sense of security, one that could end up with me drained of blood.

I sighed, noting that Edward went ridged as my breath filled the air; I was momentarily relieved that I'm the kind of person who always brushes her teeth, no matter what the situation.

"So, you have to go into town today?" the killer, yet so unbelievably tempting himself, vampire inquired – as always – catching me off guard.

"Yeah," I replied, noting that we were two minutes away from school. "Matt is having a few friends over."

I was unnaturally aware of him and our surroundings, the warm atmosphere of the car, the soft purr of the engine, the slightly intoxicating sweet smell that seemed to be lingering off him, the sight of blurred greens soon ebbing into the school grounds. Everything.

He parked the car; his eyes seemed to be searching for something out near the horizon, where the sun should have been, only was capped in thick, foggy clouds.

"Do you need a ride into town?"

I would say my heart picked up at the thought of spending time with Edward, but it was already going at an unnatural pace.

But why did he really want to spend time with me? There were many of times when I would think I imagined Edward coming into my bedroom and both of us admitting are feelings; I don't think he believes me as much as I believe him.

"Cassandra?" I realized that I never answered him, lost in my own world of vampires and love and what not.

I smiled, but I felt sad, I knew that he would never love me the way I love him but it still hurt to think that the evidence of it was right in my face.

"If you don't mind." I did not dare look anywhere near his eyes, I really didn't want to see what emotions that lay there, nor did I want him to see mine.

My tone must have changed, because I sensed rather than saw Edward's gaze on me.

"I don't." those two words were said so sincerely that I had to look, I had to be sure that my over active imagination wasn't playing tricks.

I became lost in a sea of molten gold; his usually wary eyes were filled with warmth, I tried to extinguish the single flame of hope that re-ignited inside me – don't worry I failed completely.

I smiled, a more natural one if you ask me, noting the heart-breaking grin I received in return. "I'll see you later then."

I was out of the car before he had a chance to reply, the feeling of joy seared through me, I managed to resisting the urge to skip my way to class, but nothing could make me wipe of the ridiculous grin from my face.

On my way through the parking lot, I passed a glossy red BMW, at least, that what I presumed it to be, what with all the school's population of guys crowding around the car with the same lustful expression.

I shook my head and carried on, today was going to be a good day for me, and I always could tell when it started off good.

"Someone's happy." Observed Kelly, coming to join me to science. "Of course anyone in their right mind would be if they had a chance to sit in the same car with Edward Cullen!" she grinned, linking her arm with mine. "I guess that means he's not gay then."

I laughed at the luminous blonde, rolling my eyes. "Well if he is gay, I plan to make him see the light."

"Halleluiah!"

We laughed all the way to science; the odd stare form Mr. Greene only made the whole thing worse. I could feel my sides beginning to ache and I began to worry about keeping myself on my chair.

I soon calmed down from my little fit, but excitement loomed over me, making it hard to concentrate.

I wondered if I should skip my lesson with Miss Mason, I was walking with Kelly to the canteen, already the day seemed to fly by, the thought was tempting – really tempting – but the thought of dropping out on the redheaded music teacher made me feel guilty. So I listened to my conscience and made my way to the music room. Of course, as always, I had to pass the Cullen table.

Four Cullen's sat there; the one I most wanted to see wasn't there. Alice looked up, smiling, I returned her smile and carried on towards the music block, ignoring the slight disappointed feeling that began to bloom inside.

Miss Mason was already by the piano; she briefly smiled as I entered but got straight to the point.

"I was thinking that we should try another Celine Dion song, maybe "Forget Me not" or we could try "I Know What Love Is", what do you think?" she looked up expectantly. I was internally glad that my mum was a die-hard Celine Dion fan and that I grew up hearing her songs.

" "I Know What Love Is." " There was defiantly no competition. As the beginning bars began to play, I found myself remembering the words, my lips forming them naturally.

"I was forgotten

_Until you called my name_

_Lost in the shadows_

_Until you shined your light my way_

_Now I believe again_

_In all my dreams again_

_I'm wide-eyed and innocent_

_Those doubting days _

_Are so far away and oh_

_I will fall_

_And you will catch me always_

_Time has taught me this_

_I will fly_

_And you'll be there to guide me_

_Straight up to my heart's highest wish_

_I feel you close to me_

_And know what love is_

_Now there's no mountain_

_Too high for me to climb_

_No ocean so wide_

_That I could not reach the other side_

_Now I believe in me_

'_Cause you live and breathe in me_

_And nothing can come between_

_We are on star_

_No light can darken, oh_

_I will fall_

_And you will catch me always_

_Time has taught me this_

_I will fly_

_And you'll be there to guide me_

_Straight up to my heart's highest wish_

_I feel you close to me_

_And know what love is_

_It's an unspoken thing_

_A quite opening_

_There are no words that go that deep_

_But I know_

_I know_

_I will fall_

_And you will catch me always_

_Time has taught me this_

_I will fly_

_And you'll be there to guide me_

_Straight up to my heart's highest wish_

_I feel you close to me_

_And know what love is"_

As Miss Mason played the finally notes, I looked up.

Edward was there, by the threshold of the door, a gentle smile on his lips. He looked so…_proud._ I could feel another blush creeping through my cheeks; I looked over at Miss Mason as she played the final note, praying she didn't noticed Edward.

She was beaming at me, so clearly she hadn't.

"That was…" she began only to be interrupted by the school bell.

I wanted to see Edward, wanted to know why he had followed me and I wanted to know what he thought of my voice.

"Have a nice weekend Miss Mason." I called over my shoulder, not bothering to listen to what she has to say.

Very few people had reached English before I did. One of them was Edward.

I as good as ran to our shared table, eager to know his opinion of my voice.

"Cassandra." He greeted, his golden eyes were alight, sending Goosebumps down my arms.

"Edward." I replied, resisting the urge to rub away at my newfound bumps.

I took my seat next to him; the scrape of the chair against the tiled floor was like nails on a chalkboard, in contrast with the silence that had befallen us.

Unable to break the silence, I searched for anything that would keep me occupied, well aware to the burning eyes that refused to stray away from me.

Latecomers began to load the classroom, filling it with the active noise of carefree laughter, harmless teasing and playful arguing, soon to decrease as Mr. Willis brought the class to order.

I tried to concentrate on what the English teacher had to say, something about our final draft for our Shakespeare reports, but I found it difficult. Ok, understatement, extremely difficult, but anyone would when Edward Cullen was looking at you with his perfectly pale face and butterscotch-gold eyes.

Finding my report from my English book, I scanned and re-scanned it, pleased to find nothing out of place.

With nothing to do and – Edward in my way of the window – nothing to see, I had nowhere to hide from those mesmerizing eyes.

"You are an amazing singer." His voice was low, just above a whisper that sent my Goosebumps arise with tingly feelings that shivered down my spine. His eyes held me, unable to look away; I stared helplessly into a sea of liquid gold, captivated once again by his vamperic beauty.

We were incredibly close, so close that I could count the flecks of brownish-black that rimmed his eyes; see my own dark eyes in his.

"Thank you." I blushed, suddenly embarrassed of the compliment that I was hoping for.

He instantly pulled away; at least I think he did. One moment I was gazing into those golden pools, the next they were a meter away from mine, suddenly wary and guarded. I internally kicked myself, cursing my now crimson cheeks.

I dropped my gaze back down to my report, trying to ignore the fact that he had stopped breathing, his body gone stiff and ridged.

How are we – mainly me – going to survive the trip into town?

And why the hell am I still getting those silly girly butterflies in my stomach?

We fell silent once again; a silent that I now felt compelled to fill, due to the fact that I was the reason behind it.

"Have you changed your mind about later on?" I asked my report, not bearing to see the pain that was raging in his eyes, the pain caused by the ongoing battle for my blood.

When he didn't reply, I grudgingly looked up, doing my best to avoid his gaze.

There was no need; he was looking out the window that framed a cloudy grey day that promised rain.

"No." I wasn't sure if he was trying to convince himself, or me. Either way, relief washed through me, almost bringing tears of joy to my eyes, what was it about this vampire that could always make me cry? And for the most unreasonable reasons!

I wondered if he was going to say something more, or was he waiting for me to say something? I could feel a black mood settling upon him, like a plague, festering away at him.

When the bell pulled me away from my observation, I rose, bending to whisper in his ear.

"Cheer up, sunshine." And was out the door before he had a chance to reply.

Of course, there is always something to ruin my day: Gym.

We had moved onto gymnastics, sadly a non-contact sport making it one I had to participate in, resulting in rope burns on the palm of my hands and the constant smell of feet that fumed the hall.

I would be lying if I said that I was surprised that Alice knew about today.

She was literally bouncing on her seat with impatiens; I couldn't help but smile and quickening my pace towards our table.

"Hi Alice," I smiled, sitting next to her.

"Well done!" she beamed. "I _knew_ you would be able to change his mind. Lovely voice by the way. You two are so perfect for each other, what with Edward being all musical and you having the voice of an angel. So, about tonight?"

The little pixie looked at me expectantly, while I took the moment to clear my head.

I looked at her sharply. "What about tonight?"

Rolling her eyes, Alice said, "Calm down, I was only wondering what you were going to wear."

I raised an eyebrow. "Like you don't know?"

Mock horror – or was it genuine? – Plastered her perfect elfin features. "You can't wear them Cass," she indicated my faded blue jeans and my black and white stripy t-shirt.

I tugged at my t-shirt self-consciously, muttering. "There's no time. We're leaving after school."

A mischievous grin appeared on her face. Why did I have the feeling that I wasn't going to like this?

"There is always time for fashion." And with that she turned away from me, raising her hand.

After a moment, Mr. Foley looked up from his notes; a slight baffled look and knitted his eyebrows together.

"Yes, Miss Cullen?" he asked wearily.

"Sir, Cassandra and I have to meet Miss Mason." I was about to turn to face Alice to ask her just how much input the music teacher had in this match-making scheme, when she nudged me gently in the ribs, warning me not to.

"Do you have a note?" he continued, oblivious.

"Yes, sir." She lifted a folded piece of paper that was in her other hand.

Mr. Foley took his sweet-ass time, making sure he had extra time to answer Jenna Tonkin's question on the layout of the essay assigned, before coming to our table.

Silently, he took the note from Alice's hand, reading and re-reading it, ignoring the impatient tap of Alice's shoe against the floor.

"Of you go then." He dismissed gruffly, clearly having nothing more to keep us back.

The cool and hard texture of the pixie vampire's hand was shocking in comparison to my own, as she quickly – but gently – pulled me out of the classroom.

"Where are we going?" I asked, a little breathless from the slightly too fast for human pace the inky-black haired Alice was pulling me at.

"You'll see." She replied in a mysterious voice, pulling me in the direction of the music block.

I found myself, once again, in Miss Mason's music room, only the small human teacher wasn't there. Rosalie was.

Tall, blonde and a body that would make any woman feel depressed about; Rosalie was the incarnation of pure beauty.

She wore a tight, blood red boob-tube top that hugged at her curves and dark demin-blue jeans that only a girl with her legs could pull off.

"Hi." She smiled warmly as Alice pushed me into the nearest seat. This surprised me; Rosalie in the books was always quite cold towards Bella because of her choice to give up being human, something Rosalie would do anything for.

"Hi." I smiled back, though it was uncertain.

Alice appeared out of the store cupboard – I didn't even realize she was gone – holding a mountain of clothes all different materials and vibrant shades.

I raised my eyebrows at the shorter of the two, "This should be fun."

After four dresses, six shoes, and both my hair and make-up done, I was ready and quite hot in all honesty.

Alice had made me try on every item of clothing to make sure both Rose and I approved.

I gazed at myself in the large mirror that Alice had produce from that magical cupboard of hers.

It was purple silk with spaghetti straps dress that flowed down three quarters of the way to my knees (Alice had assured me that the evening weather would be nice) small black kitten heel shoes and a short sleeved, black cardigan.

Rosalie had worked wonders on my usually messy hair, making it sleek and straight and pinning it up so only my fringe fell.

"You look amazing." Beamed Alice as she handing me a black clutch bag.

"Yes, you do." Agreed Rose, her approval made me smile in return.

"Thanks. You guys did a wonderful job" My smile grew. "It's not too much is it? You know, for going shopping?" I eyed the thin material uncertainly.

"Who says you're _just_ going shopping?" Alice asked, I saw the look pass between both her and Rose, the feeling that they weren't telling me something itched at me.

I didn't really have a chance to reply, as the ending school bell began to ring, setting free it's students for the weekend.

The two ushered me outside, and all the way to the parking lot, there cold hands were icy against the warmth of my body heat.

"Enjoy your evening Cass," giggled Rosalie, who was being lead away by a grinning Alice towards the red BMW.

They had deserted me; the rush of nerves hit me like a charging bull.

I wanted to run towards Justin's car, to be taking home.

Well no, that was bullshit. I wanted more than anything else at the moment, was to get into that silver Volvo, to share hours of the evening with Edward, to get to know him.

Taking a deep breath, I made my way towards the car.

Edward was leaning casually at the side of his Volvo; thought his memorising eyes scanned the crowd with uneasiness.

"Boo." I greeted as I joined him. "So, who are you looking for?" I made a mock search for the now thinning crowds.

"You look beautiful." I turned at the sincerity in his voice.

His golden eyes, now forever light, were warm and overwhelming.

Scorching heat seared through my cheeks, making them scarlet once again.

"Thanks." I muttered, looking away, adding. "But as I said before; Flattery will not get you anywhere."

I sensed rather the smile in his voice, "Are you ready then?"

My heart fluttered, it actually fluttered like in those silly girl books, a shiver of excitement quivered at my spine. Was I ready? No, but that wasn't going to stop me.

I smiled to myself; I was like an obsessed fan that won the lucky chance to spend the day with their favourite celebrity.

"Ready as I'll ever be." Which really wasn't saying much.


	11. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine: Death

Neither of us uttered a word as he pulled out of the parking lot, just allowed the low classical music that drifted from the car stereo to do all the talking for us.

He speeded along the highway, going at more than twice the speed limit, making the luscious green fields hazy blurs.

It wasn't long before the green blurs became whizzing shops and homes, clearly indicating that we were entering civilization.

And sill there was silence.

I had a million questions for him, but I didn't know how to phrase them, didn't know how to work up the courage to say them.

It was odd, what with me being a mouthy cow who doesn't know when to shut up, cannot find her voice to ask a few harmless questions.

"What are you thinking?" his voice, soft as velvet, sent my now calmed heart into another stutter.

I glanced over at him; he had his two pale, long hands on the steering wheel, but his eyes where looking at me, capturing my own. I never really understood what people meant by seeing emotions in other's eyes, but looking at the warm butterscotch gold made my insides melt.

I arched one eyebrow. "The truth?"

He smirked at me, still pinning me with his eyes. "Yes, the truth would be helpful."

I debated whether or not I should lie, but I was certain that he would know if I did and anyway, I might get some questions answered.

"I was wondering the best way to ask you a question."

"Oh." He didn't say anymore, his gaze turned to the windshield, hiding his eyes from me. Finally, he said. "I suppose you have a few questions."

I could feel his tension, how? I have no bloody idea, but the whole atmosphere in the car had changed making it as tense as balancing on a single thread.

"Only a million or two." I admitted.

I saw his hands tighten on the steering wheel, still refusing to look at me.

We were in town now, the streets crowed with mothers and children, men off to the local pub and teenagers shopping and mingling.

I turned my attention back to the moody vampire.

"There is nothing you can say to me that will change the way I feel about you." My whisper hung in the air, for a while, he didn't say anything, when he did, it was cold and bitter.

"I highly doubt that." He laughed, bitter and cold as his words.

The Volvo was now parked in some large lot, surrounded by rusty cars and a very unusual looking tractor.

"Oh yeah?" I challenged, "Try me."

His head spun to look at me, his eyes slightly wide at the hostile demand in my voice. In all honestly I was a little surprised myself.

His lips, oh God his lips, were pressed into a tight line, stopping his secrets from spilling.

I closed my eyes and breathed out, mentally counting backwards from ten. In a more gentle tone I said. "Edward, I'm not going to run to the hills screaming if you tell me that you killed people, that you can't sleep, that you sparkle in the sun or that you were born over a century ago." In all honestly, I didn't know if these things were true, my only source of information came from the author of those books. I would laugh if he had no idea what I was talking about. But hey, if Edward Cullen is really, what is stopping any other of those little facts from being real also?

When I was greeted with once again, more silence, I slowly open my eyes to find a very shocked Edward staring at me, his mouth slightly parted, completely lost for words.

"There is absolutely nothing you can say that's going to make me thing any less of you." I repeated, staring into troubles topaz eyes.

"Your wrong." He disagreed softly, not looking away from my eyes.

"I'm the type of girl who always had to be right." I smiled uncertainly at self-loathing angel in front of me.

He smiled back, though it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm starting to realise that."

"Good," I grinned. "That'll save me a whole lot of arguments in the future."

For a moment he just stared, his shock was still clear on his face, in ways it looked almost comical, but there was nothing remotely funny about this situation.

"Come on, questions can come later." I sighed, reaching for the door. "We have shopping to do."

Before I had a chance to open the door, Edward opened it for me; I tried to fight back the grin that was threatening to reveal itself.

I turned back to the seat he had just occupied and then to the vampire in question, amusement shone in his lightened eyes.

I narrowed my own, "It's going to take more than that to scare me." I muttered under my breath, in a louder tone I said.

"So, where to? We need ice cream, sweets, coke and a scary movie."

"Well, we could try the local supermarket for the food." He mused as he closed the door behind me. "And I'm sure if we look around, we might find some DVD's."

"Supermarket it is then." I smiled, trying my best not to get over-excited at the way Edward said "we".

I followed Edward out the parking lot, almost bumping into him when he stopped at a busy road.

He gently placed a hand on the small of my back; its marble-like texture could be felt through the thin silk, sending shivers down my spine. He guided me through traffic-jammed cars, weaving in and out until we were on the other side.

"I can cross the road on my own, you know." I protested a little too late, trying to glare instead of ogle at the vampire-angel in front of me.

"I never said you couldn't." he replied calmly, the corners of his lips lifting.

I gritted my teeth, crossing my arms over my chest. "The supermarket?"

"This way." The soft words sent my heart into a frenzy as he turned and walked away, not even bothering to look back to see if I was following.

"Stupid arrogant vampire." I muttered, running slightly to keep up.

In all honesty, I felt that I had landed in Balamory instead of an ordinary town. The bright colours were everywhere; reds, greens, blues and yellows were only the beginning of the rainbow shops. I half expected Susie Sweet to pop out at any moment.

I was walking next to Edward, I was increasingly aware that his hand hung millimetres away from my own, that all I had to do was close that small gap and we would be touching.

As we plunged further into the heart of the town, my attention became more focused on Edward than on my surroundings.

After what seemed like ten minutes, I found myself looking at an Iceland supermarket store, identical to the one found in England.

"Here we are." Smiled the angelic vampire.

I nodded. "How about I go in and get the food, while you go and look around for the movie, that way." I grinned, "We can spend more time having a good look around."

Edward's smile grew, "I'll wait for you here."

"You'd better." I muttered, turning to the red automatic doors.

I felt out of place, dressed to the nines while everyone else wore that worn-out-Friday look. My black kitten heels rapped against the titled floor, drawing the attention of the very few men.

Having retrieved a tub of Ben and Jerry's, a large bottle of coke and an even larger amount of chocolate, popcorn and fizzy cola bottles. WHen to the cashier, Aaron, who told my breasts the total amount, I paid and hurried my way out before I punched him.

The warm breeze prickled at my skin as the sun-less sky was now darkening into an early winter evening.

I tapped my heel against the pavement, looking left and right for the bronze haired angel. Looking at my phone for the time, I decided to give Edward ten minutes before I went looking for him.

I began to pace back and forth of the entrance, muttering about vampires having super-human speed and he still is late.

After five minutes, I gave up waiting – patience has never been one of my virtues – and stormed off, heels clip-clopping all the way.

Most of the shops were closing now, their stutters and windows were graffiti free; reminding me more and more that I wasn't in London anymore.

What shops that were open, had very little to interest me, so I carried on walking, still searching for Edward.

As I searched the streets, my eyes caught the sight of a rich purple coloured shop, attached to a closed café and a charity shop. Gold letters embodied what I presumed was the name of the small shop, but the name was foreign, but I recognised it to be Celtic.

The windows were painted dark purple to mach the outside, golden stars, swirls and Celtic crosses almost glowed through the darkening night. Drawn to the unusual shop, I walked closer; an open sign was clear on the other side of the glass door.

Curious, I opened the door.

The powerful scent of jasmine hung in the air, dense and sticky, making the back of my taste buds tingle.

Long strips of blue and purple materials hung across the ceiling and walls, some had stitches of the zodiac and lunar cycles on them.

To my right, a large bookcase was overflowing with battered and age-worn books, with hardback leather covers, their titles so faded, I couldn't see them.

In the middle of the unique room sat an aging woman; hair white and long with wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, wearing a robe that matched the interior of the shop.

Beside the strange woman was an old wooden table that held a pack of cards and a crystal ball that was roughly the width of my hand.

Her startling blue eyes held awareness; I had the strangest feeling that she was expecting me.

"What can I do for you child?" Her voice was foreign, Russian or something.

In bit my lip, taking a hesitant step closer. "I saw this place from across the road," I explained.

The strange woman nodded, "Yes, very few feel the pull of destiny."

O-Kay then. I remained silent.

"I better go, I'm – "

"Looking for someone, yes." She continued to nod, her light-blue eyes searching my face, raising the hairs of my neck.

I turned to leave when her soft voice caught me. "Beware my dear," she warned. "Death's shadow looms over you, and tonight he draws ever near." I turned my head back to the woman, but she wasn't looking at me, her eyes were now transfixed on a single card that she held in her hand. I felt my skin prickle, resisting the urge to rub my arms, I ignored my manners and got the hell out of there. I ran out of the purple shop and as far away as I could, my heart pounding in my chest, it's pulse echoing in my dry throat, ignoring the bags of shopping that hammered against my legs and the now blackening night.

I ran until my thighs began to protest, I was scarcely aware that the streets were empty, that the whole world seemed silent, dead.

My sprint soon ebbed into a quick walk, my breath panting and my side sore from a stitch. The sound of my heels echoed thought the dark night, my pulse still racing. The silence of the isolated street compressed heavily against my ears.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a warm, fleshy hand grabbed hold of my wrist and the world didn't seem so dead anymore.

Boisterous male laughter filled the night, as footsteps drew near, the heavy smell of alcohol stung at my nose like acid.

My grip on the shopping bags tightened as another sweaty hand encircled around my waist, drawing me near to more fatty flesh.

The boisterous voices grew louder, uttering unintelligible words into the still night, the closest one whispered in my ear.

"What's a pretty thing like you doing out all alone on a night like this?" he chuckled, intoxicating the air with his foul, drunken breath. "She won't be alone for much longer, will she boys?" he bellowed to the voices, his hand snaking it's way up from my wrist to my breast, my heartbeat.

Laughter and cheers filled the air as I felt warm and podgy lips drunkenly plant themselves at the hollow of my neck, raising bile in my throat.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, allowing the man to pull me closer.

I felt the hand around my waist lower, beginning to pass my silk covered stomach. Then I saw red.

I put all my strength into my right leg as it rose behind me, the heel digging into his groin.

His muffled cry pierced thought the night, his grip loosened, that was all I needed.

My grip still tight on the bags of shopping, I swung them blindly into the night, pleased to hear the satisfying thump of soiled ice cream hitting flesh. Cries of amazement and surprise came from all directions as my captive fell to the ground.

One down, a hell of a lot more to go.

Heavy footsteps from my right echoed louder than my heartbeat, warning me of the drunken attack.

I flung the first bag containing the bottle of coke at the source of the footsteps but the handle snapped at the very last moment, sending it a good metre of target, it's landing went bang though the deserted alleyway.

I retried my attempt with the ice cream, popcorn and sweets, only to have a moist hand stop me. More running footsteps came from behind, digging my heel into the ground, I swung my body weight so that the man holding my wrist swung with me, connecting to what I presumed was the fist of his mate.

Two down.

I felt a strong fist connect with my jaw, the force behind it sent me flying to the ground.

More hands grabbed at my legs, burning my skin, as I tried to blink through the haze of unconsciousness that threatened to overwhelm me.

With my last efforts, I thrashed wildly with my heels, as my hands frantically searched the cobbled ground for my bag, which had flung it's way across the shadows as I fell to the ground, doing my best to ignore the black stops that clouded my vision

Damp stone and dirt was all a felt beneath my fingertips, rough and cold.

Breathing heavily, I began to let my body relax, as bruising fingers pinned the top of my arms to the cobbled streets, my will to fight began to fade. Was there really any point? The worst that could happen is dying. No, the worst would be living through this, having to deal with the pity and sympathy of others, to become a victim. Calmly, I closed my eyes and waited for death, trying not to panic as raspy breathing and so many hands hurt and bruised my skin.

I felt my body begin to shake. I didn't want to die, not like this, I wanted… well; I don't really know what I want, but not this.

I sensed rather than saw a hand snake it's way up my thigh, my heart pounding, I made one last effort at saving my own life.

With every last ounce of strength on my body, I fought against the strong hold of hands that pinned me against the cold ground; my legs began to thrash once again at what ever they could.

Surprise made my captive pause, as I realised that two where holding me, turning my head to the left, in bit down hard on a moist hand.

I must admit, it was a well-moisturised hand, the ridiculous thought made me want to laugh, and instead I carried on biting.

My teeth broke through skin and muscle, filling my mouth with blood, bringing up bile in my throat.

His howl of pain seemed out of place in the silent night as he released me to cradle his bloodied hand. I have been hanging around vampires for way too long.

"Stupid bitch." Snarled his companion with venom and slapped me.

I heard it before I felt it, the ominous sound of flesh hitting flesh echoed through the dark night, the muffed curses of the other scumbag could still be heard.

My right cheek stung, bringing hot, over-flowing tears. Breathing deeply I struggled against my final attacker as he grabbed me by my upper arms – not too gently might I add – and flung me against, what I presumed was, the nearest stone wall.

My skull connected with the damp bricks, white-hot pain flared, and for a moment, the world went black.

All too soon, the world came crashing back, as strong and hateful hands matted themselves in my hair, pulling at the roots.

Anger boiled, how _fucking dare_ he touch my hair?

Without meaning to, my fist slammed into his jaw, he staggered back letting go of his hold on my hair.

I took advantage of the attackers' hesitation, and punched him again, again and again.

My right hand was a fiery ball of pain that I chose to ignore, as I blindly realised my anger on the helpless would-be-rapier. My fist hit his jaw, nose – which I'm glad to say, I think I broke – and the side of his head. The final blow sent him sprawling to the ground and made no further movement.

_Oh. My. God. I've killed him. _For a moment I did nothing, still aware that there was one more attacker lurking in the shadows.

Pausing, I listened to the silence, unable to hear muffed cries about a bitten hand.

I looked around; my surroundings were cold, wet, dark and isolated. A perfect place for rape and possibly murder, the narrow alleyway rotted with out-of-date foods and human piss.

I winced when one of my three unconscious attackers moaned, standing still; I waited for him to rise.

Everything was silent once again.

My heart pounding in my throat, I slowly made my way towards one of the limp bodies that lay sprawled on the cobble road.

From what little light that was provided by the crescent moon, I could see that my attacker was no more than a couple of years older than myself, his body still was mostly baby-fat than muscle. Long, dark strands of hair framed his still chubby face.

Strangely, he looked more of a child than anything else; he defiantly didn't look like a rapist. I wondered how he and his companions got the alcohol.

I looked for a pulse at the hollow of his neck – normally, this would freak me out, but fear kept me from cringing – and was relieved to find a strong, steady pulse. The power of my relief was like a tidal wave, as I moved on to the next body.

The second was just as young as the first; I couldn't help but be puzzled at why boys as young as these would want to get pissed and hang around an alleyway, wait to pounce on a defenceless and unsuspecting girl.

As I crouched down beside the second, I noticed my Iceland bag, pleased to know that I wouldn't have to go searching sightlessly around the darkened parts of the shadows for it.

Once I was sure all three of the young attackers had a good, steady pulse, I went to retrieve the red and white plastic bag.

It was the one containing the bottle of coke, I frowned, it was going to fizz all over the place when I opened it.

Thinking back, I recalled that I had two bags; I was missing the ice cream, popcorn and sweets. Shit.

I sighed, my head was throbbing like mad, which no doubt become a major headache, while my right hand hurt whenever I moved it too much. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, I probably have a large lump on the back of my head the size of a pineapple and a sprained, maybe broken, wrist.

I didn't want to spend another minute in this dump, I wanted – I froze at the sound of running. My heart accelerated, it was the last of the four. I couldn't fight anymore, not in the state I was in; I watched, as a figure emerged at the mouth of the alleyway, I didn't dare breath, praying that the shadows covered me.

"Cassandra?" a soft, velvet voice called into the dark.

I breathed out a sigh of relief, but my eccentric heart kept it's unnatural pace.

"Yes?" I almost laughed. "I'm here."

Never in all my life have I been more glad to see Edward, he was like my knight in shiny Volvo.

Stepping out of the darkness, my legs weak from fear that gripped my heart moments ago.

Edward stepped closer towards me, only then did I see the barley-controlled anger that was plain on his beautiful face.

"You should have waited." His voice was emotionless, but that made it all the more scary.

Looking away from his livid face I asked in a small voice "Can you see where the other shopping bag is? It's too dark for me."

Silently, Edward walked away from me; I watched his retreating figure, already feeling alone.

My heart still pounding, I bit my lip, wishing I had told him what I really wanted to say:

_Oh Edward, I'm so sorry. I love you. Please, I'm so scared._

I watched him bend down and pick up the Iceland bag, only to see him freeze and slowly turned to look at me.

For a moment, all anger was gone; in its place was something that could only be described as wonder and maybe even awe.

In a strange way, it looked like how you would picture a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. Amazed, yet unsure if he should believe it or not, I frowned when Edward continued to stare at me with wide eyes, and a slightly parted mouth.

"Edward?" I called uncertainly when the still vampire didn't move.

"I can hear you." The words were whispered, yet I could hear them.

It took me a moment to understand the meaning of his words, and when I did, I almost wish I had died.

I knew he could never love me, but I had clung on to a single thread of hope, and that single thread of hope has just be severed.

Edward can read my mind.

Shit. Fucking shit.


	12. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten: The Cullen's

I stared helplessly into the depths of those irresistible topaz eyes, watching them as they transformed from open wonder and hardening into the anger that was there moments before.

But none of that mattered, because Edward could hear me, he could read my thoughts. I was screwed.

The words just seemed to repeat in my head, a never-ending torture.

I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you…

Never-ending.

All too sudden, the world didn't seem real anymore, but a phoney play of fake words and meaningless promises.

I watched as the anger of the vampire-angel that I would never have, face change. Shock and hurt. That's right. Hurt.

He has a nerve, all this time he ask been pretending to love me, to care for me. But no, I was a puzzle to him. A final piece of the jigsaw that wouldn't fit no matter which way you turned it.

Until now, that is.

I didn't look away from his eyes, couldn't. I felt my throat clench up and a painful squeeze of my heart.

My eyes began to prickle, and the familier feel of hot stinging tears hazed my vision.

I blinked them back, only when I slowly opened my eyes, Edward was there, right in front of me.

I cast my eyes downward, away from the hurt accusation that was so clear in his eyes, noticing the plastic bag that he held in his balled up hand.

"Thanks." I mumbled, as I stretched my hand out for the bag.

When Edward made no sign of giving me the bag, I slowly and reluctantly met the fury that was his flaming gold eyes.

"You think that I don't love you." He whispered, his breath was cool, yet it burned me, tugging painfully at my heart.

"You don't believe me." There was disbelief in his words; I felt my body tremble.

"I know you don't." as much as I wished otherwise, in my heart I knew that I spoke the truth, that no matter how much I love him, he could never love me.

"You Don't Know Anything!" he yelled into the night, making me close my eyes in hope of easing a little of the white-hot pain that seemed to smoulder me.

He began to pace back and forth in front of me, his anger poured from him, it's heat radiated onto my skin, unnaturally hot.

"And what? You know everything?" my voice lost its punch, coming out horse.

My body now glistened with sweat; did he not notice the invisible flames of fire? The excruciating pain of the flames outshined the now dim throb of both my head and wrist.

He ignored me. "You should have waited for me." Edward Repeated with a sigh, stopping in the middle of his pacing.

A wash of shame hit me, with remorse I whispered, "I'm sorry."

He didn't say anything, remaining silent.

"Are you ok?" I ask hesitantly, feeling a dramatic ease from the fiery flames that seem burn me, which also seem not to exist.

Edward sighed again, looking away he whispered so low that I had to strain to hear, "Sometimes Cassandra, I have problems with my temper."

Heart beating fast I managed a weak smile. "Yeah, I've noticed." When he sill refused to answer, I jokingly added, "But who am I to point the finger?"  
Still no friggin' answer. I'm starting to get pissed.

"At least say something!" I yell in frustration.

"What do you want me to say?" he retorts.

That stopped me for a bit, what do I want him so say? That he loves me, that he is only worried about me? Get real; we have already established the fact that he doesn't love me.

As soon as the though passed through my head, I saw the brooding vampire's jaw lock, eyes narrowing.

I glared at him. Is there any chance he could not look so unbelievable cute when he did that? With my luck: no.

Sighing, I muttered through clenched teeth, "Let's just go."

Taking a step towards the mouth of the alley, which Edward had magically appeared, not so long ago.

Only, my weak and trembling legs chose that moment to give out, sending me tumbling towards the cobblestones.

However, I didn't make it. Oh, no. Mr. Cranky Vampire has to turn all hero on me at the last minute.

"I can hear you, you know." His breath tingles my ear.

"Well, don't listen then." I mumble, trying to breathe while my body fit perfectly to the shape of his cold, hard and insanely heart-stopping chest.

"Close your eyes." Edward mumbled, chest rumbling

I looking into his perfect face, his high cheekbones, strong jaw line, that impeccably straight nose, and those full lips. Yum.

"I though you were the edible one." I could hear the smile in his voice.

I could feel myself blush, burning my cheeks, causing Edward to stiffen.

"Close your eyes, Cassandra." He repeats.

"It's Cassie." I mutter, but do as I'm told.

The wind starts to breeze slightly; I could feel Edward's muscles moving, as he began walking, the Iceland bag that I was carrying barely moved from it's resting spot on my stomach.

The other in Edward's hand was a different matter.

The breeze wind was cool after the strange flames of anger that I experience back in the alley. Thinking back, I wondered what had truly happened.

"Cassandra?" Edward asks hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

"I can't hear you." He informed me with disappointment.

I frowned. Dodgy vampire hearing? In a louder voice, I repeated, "Yeah?"

In spite of his disappointment, I shook with the vibration of his laughter. "No," he chuckled. "I can't read your mind."

I swear for a moment, my heart stopped. Edward couldn't read me? I tried to fight back a smile, I breathed in deeply. I swear to God I could almost cry with happiness. Edward couldn't read me! I wonder what happened? He could before. I dismissed the nagging little thought; I'll worry about it later.

A few moments passed in a comfortable silence, my pulse rate began to calm from the cold hands that held me so close.

With my eyes still closed, I rested my head against Edward's chest, inhaling deeply.

He smelt better than anyone I have ever smelt before; sweet but slightly musky. It reminded me of my favourite perfume; Fantasy by Britney Spears, only more masculine.

Secretly, I inhaled more; I wondered for a moment if I could get high from him.

"You can open your eyes now, Cassandra." His velvet voice tickled at my ear.

I opened my eyes, expecting to see the Volvo in the parking lot, but no, what I saw was Edward's house.

It was large; the exterior was a soft white. The home looked like heaven against the dark night, beautiful plants and flowers grew around the vampire home, hiding from civilisation.

From what I could see, there was a garage to the left somewhere, the soft tinkling of a waterfall drifted musically off in the distance.

Edward carried on walking towards the door, making no move to put me down.

"I can walk, Edward." I informed as we reached the door.

He smiled, "I never said you couldn't."

Before I had a chance to retort, the door swung open, and the little pixie Alice greeted us.

"Aw Cass, your hair's all messed up." She pouted, making me pat my hair self-consciously.

She turned her attention to Edward. "Carlisle is in his study."

"Thank you, Alice." He replied, stepping over the threshold.

The interior of the house was much the same as the outside, full of soft whites and creams. Over at the far side of the wall was a large window of glass that seemed more like a transparent wall, soft twinkling stars shone bravely against the inky-blue night. Not what you would expect for a vampire home.

Edward walked slowly up the stairs (which looked more like a grand staircase from those olden-time movies) to the next floor; I noticed that there was another floor above. Jesus, how many bedrooms do sleepless vampire's need?

Paintings lined the walls, beautiful landscapes of meadows and flowers, making the house warm and inviting.

Edward paused at the first door to the right – me still in his arms – and before he had a can to knock, the door opened.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen looked more like a model than a doctor, being roughly the same height as Edward – and that's saying something, the boy was over six feet tall! – His built was slender yet muscular. His honey blonde hair, matched the colour of his eyes, a warm smile on his pale and flawless face.

"Hello again, Cassandra."

I smiled weakly, "Hi Dr. Cullen." To Edward, I gave him what I like to call my scary glare. "You can put me down now."

He ignored me.

"Carlisle, I was wondering if you could take a look at Cassandra, she had a little…accident." He said the last word through gritted teeth, in a failed attempt to hide his anger.

A concerned frown appeared on Dr. Cullen's face, his golden eyes swept over me, pausing on my redden and still stinging cheek.

"I'm fine." I reassured them both, or was it me? "Really, I am." I repeated when Carlisle raised a pale eyebrow and Edward made an impatient noise.

"It wouldn't hurt to check, then?" Edward asked slyly, a small smile in his voice trying to lighten his thunderous mood.

"It also wouldn't hurt to put me down." I muttered.

As we walked further into the heart of the room, I caught a short glance of a few of the hundreds of leather-bounded books that overflowed the bookshelves on the opposite sides of the room.

At the centre of the study was a smart but antique looking desk that seemed more like a headmaster's of a posh school.

The large room was lit dimly with a low overhead light that revealed hidden shadows.

Edward settled me into one of the two comfy leather chairs that was opposite the desk while he took the second of the two Iceland bags in the same hand that held the other and remained standing silently.

Carlisle perched himself on the wooden desk so that he was directly in front of me.

Gently, he bushed the tips of his fingers across the swollen and painful parts of my face, leaving a rise of colour in its trail.

Without saying a word, he reached for my right wrist –I had no idea how he managed to find out about that – he twisted it expertly and pain-free, it was already bruised and swollen.

"Looks like a sprain." Muttered the handsome doctor, prodding the ballooning wrist.

"She also hit her head." Edward supplied helpfully, receiving another one of my scary glares.

Carlisle was already moving to my now messy hair, removing hairpins as he went to reach the bump at the back of my head.

My curled hair tumbled down past my shoulders, tickling the tender parts of my face; I winced slightly, feeling the shockingly cold fingers touch my swollen head.

"Everything seems to be fine." Assured the vampire-doctor, walking to the seat of his desk. "A sprained wrist and a terrible headache tomorrow – I would advise you to take some painkillers for that, but fine."

"Are you sure, Carl– "

"Edward." I interrupted, feeling irritated by his over-protective concern. "I'm fine."

He began to protest again, ignoring him I turned to Carlisle.

"Is he always like this?"

Carlisle, who was now sitting down in his desk-chair smiled.

His golden eyes held his smile, as I looked into them, warm and loving like a farther. "Not until recently, but yes, he is."

The love and pride in Carlisle voice made me smile in return. It was like a headmaster telling a mum that her son was a wonderful student; she knows it, yet it feels nice to hear it.

"I am here you know." Edward's voice came somewhere from behind me, obviously stopped in his little rant.

"Yes," I smiled sweetly, turning in my chair to see him. "It's kind of hard to forget, what with all that nagging."

Carlisle chuckled, turning my sweet smile smug.

"I'd better take you home now." Smiled Edward in spite of himself, offering his hand to help me out of my seat.

Rolling my eyes I put my good hand in his and allowed Edward to lift me to my feet as if I was no more than a feather.

"You can take my car." Offered Carlisle, rising from his chair and escorting us to the door.

"Thanks Carlisle." Said Edward, still smiling.

I mumbled a thank you, embarrassed in the presence of two of the best-looking men on this planet.

"My pleasure." The doctor replied sincerely as he accompanied Edward and I down the stairs and to the ground floor, I tried to ignore the increasingly awareness of the contrast between Edward's cold and hard hand in my own warm and soft one.

As we reached the bottom of the stairs, a hesitant figure emerged. She was slender, yet her figure was soft and slightly rounded making her look more mature and woman than any of the other Cullen girls. Her heart-shaped face was of course a snowy-white pale, bringing out the golden blonde and coffee brown in her caramel-coloured hair. Her petal pink lips formed a motherly looking smile, revealing dimples. Her golden eyes – like the rest of her family – were warm and friendly.

"Esme," Edward's smile broadened. "This is Cassandra. Cassandra, this is my mother Esme."

Esme Cullen smiled affectionately, taking another hesitant step towards us. "It's wonderful to finally meet you," her voice sang, soft and harmonious.

"You too." I said a little breathlessly. Mrs. Cullen took another step; I could see she was wearing a pale pink jumper – cashmere, I bet – and a cream knee-length skirt that matched her small pearl necklace.

"Alice told us about the…"

"I'm fine." I assured her quickly, I was getting tired of saying this.

Before she could reply, a booming voice seemed to almost shake the house came from above. "I thought I smelled something good." We all turned to the top of the stairs when the gigantic Emmett was grinning. "Hi Cass, you look like hell." He said cheerfully.

Smiling reluctantly, I replied dryly. "Good to see you to, Emmett."

Laughing playfully, he bounded down the stairs and lifted me off my feet into a massive bear hug.

"For someone so small, you sure are tough." He teased, putting me down, oblivious to the looks of shock from his adoptive parents and brother.

"I'm not that small." I protested. Ok, compared to Emmett, I was. But 5 ft 3 was a completely normal height for girls my age.

Emerging silently out of nowhere, Alice danced gracefully beside me.

"You of al people should know that size doesn't matter, Emmett." The tiny vampire, who was about four inches shorter than me, grinned mischievously.

The burly vampire's gaze darkened, towering over her he said. "You cower behind you gift, and when you don't, Jasper comes to save you."

Alice didn't flinch, amber eyes narrowing. "Jasper isn't here, but neither is Rose." She taunted. "She isn't here to boost your ego when I kick your stone butt. Again."

Emmett opened his mouth to speak; Edward's calm voice spoke for him. "I'm going to take Cassandra home now."

"Cassie." I automatically corrected him with a sigh.

"It was lovely to see you." Esme said quickly, looking over her shoulder at her fuming son and daughter.

Carlisle handed Edward the car keys from his pocket, smiling at me he said. "Goodbye…Cassie" See he could remember. "Put some ice on your wrist and take some aspirin for the pain."

"Thank you." I said gratefully, looking over at Alice and Emmett, I could see that the two were ready to pounce on each other.

Gently resting a cool marble hand on the small of my back; Edward lead me away from his vampire family. Just as we walked down the porch steps, there was an ear-splitting crash and a chorus of "Emmett!" that sounded more like angels singing.

Edward winced slightly at the deafening crash, but made no comment, guiding me toward the back of his ridiculously large house. We lapsed into another silence, we seemed to be having quite a few of those, and the beautiful tinkling sound of the hidden waterfall was like soft wind chimes. I had a voice in the back of my head saying that I needed to speak to him, to break the unnatural silence that seem to befall us many times, I told the voice to shut the fuck up.

The autumn night was breezy and dark, little stars shone bravely against the inky-blue night but they looked dull in comparison with the glowing-white crescent moon.

A slight wind stirred the shadowed trees and I resisted a shiver, I looked at Edward, his perfect face was turned towards me, eyes troubled.

"What's wrong?" I asked, hand stretched out to gently rub away the slight crease of worry lines between his brows. When I realised what I was doing, I dropped my hand instantly, my face already heated with a blush.

As we walked, the family garage came in sight. Finally. But I swear to God, I could be another home by the size of it. Still not answering my question, Edward walked towards the keypad and pushed in the code. I stayed where I was. Wow, this boy had more mood swings than I did when I had my period and trust me, I'm a bitch on my time of the month. I was going to have to get him out of that.

The metal door rose, and the garage were instantly filled with a dimmed light that revealed a glossy black Mercedes, sleek and stylish. A glistening red convertible and monstrous Jeep, but the car that caught my eye was further back.

I'm not very good with cars and their make, but I knew this car thanks to twilight. It was Edward's special car, a shiny black Aston Martin V12 Vanquish. I never really understood the whole love for cars. Until now.

"You like it?" I didn't know wheather it was a question or a statement, but I answered him anyway. "Yes, it's beauitful."

Edward's eyes were thoughtful when I turned to look at him, God he was a gazillion times more beauiful than any car.

"I never knew you liked cars." Did I see a slight smile on his face?

"I don't," I smiled ruefully. "I just know a pretty car when I see one."

He laughted at that, I was for a moment stunned by the pleasant sound, I wanted him to laugh more often.

"Come on. The ice cream will be mealted by the time we get home."

He ignored me. Surprise, surpirse. "I got the film." He produced a DVD case from his jacket pocket and handed to me. "The doors open." He added.

I got into the passenger seat, putting my seatbelt on. Did I metion that the vampire dives like a maniac, a very careful maniac.

I stared down at the plastic box in horror, I could feel my pulse in my throat. Oh God.

"Cassandra? Is there something wrong?" I looked up to see Edward's concerned face.

"Is the film ok? Alice said that Matt's friends haven't seen it." he frowned down at the DVD. "I could change it for tomorrow, if you…"

"No." my voice was horse, I cleared my throat. "No. it's fine."

His brows creased again. "Whats wrong, Cassandra?"

I didn't answer, it was his turn to be annoyed.

He sighed in frustration, "Cassandra…"

"I wish you would stop saying that." I accused the windsheld.

I hear the engine purr, and the car move expertly out of the garage.

A thought suddenly flashed in my mind. "Can you drive slow?"

I felt rather than saw Edward glance at me. "Does my driving bother you."

Dispite my annoyence, I smiled. "Yes, you always seem like you want to get away from me and that's why you drive so fast."

The weight of his stare left me and very quitely, he said. "I beileve it is the other way round."

It took me a moment to understand what he meant, and by that time, I had nothing to say. Another mood swing, I presume.

Silence again, but I did notice that he was driving at a normal speed. Point to me.

"I've seen a bit of this film before." I confessed into the silence. "It scares the hell out of me." I looked of to meet Edward's eyes.

"Oh." What else could he say?

I smiled again. "You know that I don't know much about you."

The was a long pause, then. "What do you want you know?"

I bit back a smile. Yay! He might answer my questions.

Shrugging said. "Your birthday, likes, dislikes. Anything you want to tell me."

He stared into my eyes for a long moment, impassive and unreadable.

"I was born June 20th 1901 in Chargo," his topaz eyes searched my face, whatever he saw, must have encoraged him to go on. "My birth farther was a lawyer and my mother was a house wife. I wanted to join the first world war, but my mother did her best to stop me, I fear that I would not return. In 1918, my family was struck with the Spainish Influenzia, my father died almost instantly. I don't remember much of my human life, the memories are still hazy." His voice had become almost wistful now, I listened eagerly. "Carlisle treated me, he saved me."

we remained silent for a moment, as the world slowly passed by.

I smiled, we had passed an invisible barrier, I already felt closer to him.

"I was born on the 21st of June." I smiled at his slightly shocked expression. "My dad's a plumer and my mother is going to start work in a flower shop tomorrow. I was forced to take ballet and Irish dancing when I was young, I'm terrified of wasps, needles and horror movies." I flashed another smile. "I get very annoyed when you call me Cassandra, I'm stubborn and very bossy."

He laughed at that. "I can tell."

"Edward?" I asked, feeling brave.

"Yes, Cassandra?" he teased with a crooked smile.

I took a deep breath, "Can you tell me about some vampire things."

I saw him hide his eyes. "Like what?"

"Your faster and stonger than any human." It wasn't a question.

"Yes." He still refused to look at me.

"You don't sleep?" that was a question.

"No." he sighed.

"Eat?"

"No."

I chewed my lip; the next one was a toughie. "What happens when you go out in the sun?"

He sighed almost bitterly, "I believe that you referred my reaction to the sun as sparkling."

So, I was right so far. Or should I say twilight was?

I smiled encouragingly at him. "I also said that I'm not going to run away. I mean that Edward."

"What if it's too late to run?" he whispered almost to himself.

I sighed again. "Why do you always do that?"

He looked puzzled. "Do what?"

I frowned, did he not notice? "Go in a bad mood. It's like you've got a personality disorder. Maybe you should let Carlisle cheek you out on that."

He stared at me for a moment, his perfect face looked crossed between a smile and a frown. I looked away from those speculating eyes; I noticed that we were on my road. No more questions, I guess.

Skilfully, Edward parked the shiny black car outside my house, once again opening my door before I realised that the car had stopped.

"Stop doing that." I accused.

Innocently, he said. "Doing what?"

I grinded my teeth in hope to repress a smile, he looked so cute.

"Being a gentleman."

The vampire smiled slyly, but didn't say anything.

Of course, being the gentleman that he was, Edward walked me to my door.

I turned to say goodbye, but my words were caught in my throat.

Edward was closer than I had expected, his mouth was inches away from my own. His eyes looked almost lost, like he was unsure of what to do next, and if he could do it without killing me.

I leaned against the outside wall of my house, watching in amazement as two pale hands on either side of my face.

He was going to kiss me.

I parted my lips slightly; I had no idea what I was doing. How do you kiss perfection?

He leaned in, pausing a few millimetres away from my mouth.

"Stay very still." His cool, sweet breath tickled my face; I leaned in to inhale more.

"Cassie!" Matt's voice made me jump, I forgot about the rest of the world. I looked to see not only Matt, but also my whole family, their head's peering out of the front door. Nosy fuckers.

Edward was already a good meter away from me, grinning.

"Goodnight Cassandra." His voice was a little breathless, or was that me?

"'Night" I mumbled, disappointed.

He handed me the two Iceland bags, I forgot about them, his golden eyes still slightly wide. "See you Monday." He turned and retreated back to the black Mercedes. Once his back was turned, I glared at my family, only, they where gone.

Too late, the damage was done. I dreaded to think what thought Edward picked up from my family, my dad especially.

I watched Edward pull out of out driveway, and disappear down the road, not moving even after he was gone.

_Death's shadow looms over you, and tonight he draws ever near._

I almost yelped in fright, I heard the old lady's voice as clear as if she was standing right next to me.

I thought of "Death's shadow". Who did she mean?

My four attackers? Or Edward?

I stared at the point Edward had disappeared long before, and honestly, I didn't know.

I sighed, more questions left unanswered. I would have stayed out long on the doorstep, In vain hope of Edward returning or even at least to solve some of my many questions that I didn't have answers for, but the ice cream would be nothing more than cream. And I hated that.


	13. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven: Sleepover

That night I had some really weird dreams, full of mystical old ladies, dark shadows that loomed over me, ice-cream that seemed to melt of the walls and Edward and his family sitting down pleasantly drinking red liquid too red and thick to be wine. Like I said: weird.

I remember the Edward from my dream, looking at me in horror. "You shouldn't be here," he said. "Death's shadow is too close."

Then there was Matt's slightly annoying voice calling me.

"Wake up Cass!" he yelled into my ear.

I stared at the innocent face, feeling irritated. "What?"

I felt my whole body bounce, along with my bed. God, my head was killing me.

"Ok, ok. I'm up." I sighed in defeat, pulling off the covers.

As I stumbled down the stairs, my head throbbed painfully, like my brain was compressing against me skull, this was going to be a long day.

Making my way in to the kitchen, I noticed the bowl of Crunchy Nut cornflakes already crowding the milk-filled bowl. Aw, Matt made breakfast.

I sat down to munch on the honey-coated flakes, an eager Matt watching my every move.

"Everyone's gone then?" I asked between pauses of scooping the cereal.

Matt nodded. "Mum gave Justin a lift about an hour ago on her way to work. And dad left before I was up."

Studying the faint lilac circles under his eyes, barely noticeable against his golden skin, I somehow found that hard to believe.

I sent Matt away so I could finish my breakfast in peace, only my whole body ached as if I had been used a human punch bag, knowing the events of yesterday, I wasn't far of the mark.

Retrieving two painkillers and swallowing them with orange juice from the carton, wincing slightly once I caught sight of the time.

Matthew got me up at half nine on a Saturday morning.

His bloody friends weren't due till one.

This takes the biscuit.

Grabbing a few jammy dodgers from the cupboard, I walked into the living room.

Pictures cluttered the cream walls: my parents wedding, Justin's birth, my birth, Matt's birth. There was school photo's as well, from cute innocent six year olds to loud, back chatting sixteen year olds. I paused at the most resent photo taken.

It was outside our old home, it was summer then, and dad had bought a large blow-up swimming pool.

Both Annie and I grinned mischievously at the camera lens, wearing matching scarlet bikinis, which stood out against our pale skin. Justin had his arms slung lazily on each of our shoulders, but his and my best friend's bodies were closer and Justin's head rested gently against Annie's.

By my side was Matt; his floppy hair wet so it was a light shade of brown, one of his teeth was missing. The memory was only captured a few months ago, but it felt like a lifetime away from the present. Back then I was a silly little girl in love with a vampire that lived in the pages of a book. Now, I was a silly little girl in love with a vampire who lives in my town.

Can you spot the difference?

Looking away from the sunny, happy photo, I switched on the family computer, finishing off the last of the jammy biscuits as I waited for it to load.

I opened up the Internet while my msn was logging in, typing in google in the tool bar.

As I was about to type in the search engine, a little message appeared on my screen.

Annie_body_there??? Says:

Cas, dis is urgent!

I raised my eyebrows at the little box, debating whether or not I should ignore her. I decided not to, clicking on the message, I still want my head on my shoulders

i-3-ben&jerry's:

what?

Her reply was almost instant.

The step-monster is moving out.

That got my attention.

Your kidding!?!?

Nope. She threw a hissyfit and told dad that she had enough. He is currently locked in his study, moping.

I stared at the words in shock. Poor Annie! She had already lost her mum, and in someway her dopy farther, but at least he was there. What good is he weeping like a baby in a barricaded room? God, I feel so useless. How the hell can I help Annie all the way over here? I was sorely tempted to go over to London myself and sort her dysfunctional excuse of a farther out.

But there was two things holding me back:

1) My parents. There is no way they would let me go back to London unsupervised, plus there was school to think about.

2) Edward. I couldn't leave him, nor could I bring him along. There were things about my past that no one should know, least of all Edward. So that was out of the question.

I could invite Annie to stay with us; the girl was rich so she could afford the trip. My parents love Annie like a second daughter. My mum was close to Annie's mum, Julia, and was deeply affected by her death as much as Annie was.

But there was Edward. Annie is not stupid – she only pretends to be – she would catch on that there is something wrong with the Cullen's. What Annie needs right now is a friend and support, not a lame-excuse of a friend that is drooling after a vampire who could kill her any moment. No, Annie would have to survive this without me. Well, more like without my presence but yeah, same difference.

I bit my lip, unsure how I could comfort my best friend without getting her involved with all the crap that's going on over here.

I didn't have to worry though, it would seem that Annie had her life under control.

Annie_body_there???:

It's ok cass, I'm fine.

You sure? I typed back, already feeling guilty.

Yep, She replied. Wat you doin' up so early anyway? Or are you guys in like a different times zone to England?

I smiled at the message. Lol. Matt got me up, I'm on sleepover duty.

Good luck with dat hun ;) I have to go now, I'll call you later to make sure ur still alive. X bye hun. X

She had signed out before I even had a chance to type goodbye.

Obviously things aren't as fine as Annie makes them out to be.

God, I feel like such a bitch!

However, before I had a really chance to wallow in pity for both Annie and myself, Matt emerged from out of nowhere, a hopeful expression on his face.

"What do you want?" I sighed, wanting almost more than anything to go back to sleep. I say almost, because I could think of one or two things that could keep me awake: Edward Cullen and a bowl of Ben and jerry's.

"Can I see what DVD you got?" his big blue eyes stared into me.

I winced slightly at the sound of the horror film, which I would no doubt be subjected to watch. I closed my eyes and nodded, trying to concentrate on anything other than the unwanted throb against my skull or bruised and swollen state of my wrist.

"Fine." I rose out of my chair at the pace of an old woman. "But I didn't pick it out." I warned.

Matt's eyebrow's knitted. "Who did?"

"Edward did." Did Matt hear the wistful longing in my voice? Judging by the weird look he was giving me, he did.

Both Matt and I had used the ridiculous amount of spare time to clean the house, making it look casual but not too clean (Matt didn't want his friend's to think we were some clean freaks).

By the time his friends had arrived, I was in the middle of baking the only thing I could: a Victoria sponge cake.

While Matt ushered his newfound friends inside, I went to assure the parents. "They're no trouble at all." I repeated for like the tenth time, praying they would just go away.

They had, only a few "they're no trouble's" later.

With a sigh of relief, I when back to my baking cake.

Three boy-like animals were already rummaging in the fridge; I had a nasty feeling that my beloved ice cream was going to be devouered by those little monsters.

"Are you guys hungry?" I asked, unsure if they spoke in human tongue.

The three-headed monster turned my way; I noticed one of them was Matt; only he looked a whole lot happier than I've seen him in a long time. The other two, however, was a different matter.

They both wore expressions of mischief, the taller of the two – not as tall as Matt – had mousy brown hair and hazel green eyes, the other one was a vivid red-head with freckles that instantly made me think of Annie.

"I'm Cassie," I added when the two guests continued to grape at me.

"Simon." The redhead smiled shyly at me, I turned to the green-eyed boy, who looked at me with speculating eyes.

"I'm Andy." He said after a long moment.

Forcing a smile, I looked the now human boys, asking. "Does anyone like sponge cake?"

An hour later and I have made an important discovery: Three growing boys can eat a lot, green eyes and redhead especially; I guess the country air does that to some people but still…

Where the hell do they put it all?

I stared in wonder as the tree polished off a whole packet of custard creams, feeling a bit queasy the thought of all that sugar and fat and God-Knows-What-Else going into their system.

I sent them to play upstairs, warning them if they set so much as a toe in my room, I will put make-up on them when they sleep, take pictures and post them around their school.

So far they haven't so much as glanced at the stairs to my room.

I had a few hours to kill before I ordered pizza, so I settled down to watch one of my favourite films, Sweet home Alabama.

Just before I could press play on the DVD player, the phone rang, I sighed recognizing the caller ID and answered.

"What's up mum?" I asked.

"Cass? Cass, can you hear me?" My mother practically yelled.

I winced, feeling the mother of all headaches coming on.

"Yes, I can hear you."

There was laugher and music in the background, boisterously loud. "Cass? Your dad is taking me out for the night. Will you be alright?" her voice held a slight plead to it, I knew my mother wanted to stay out with my dad, to celebrate her first day at her new job and she rarely had the chance to go out.

"Sure. I'm fine. Don't worry." I added as she began to protest. "Everything is fine, go have fun."

After a little more reassurance, she said goodbye, promising not to stay out late and reminding me not to answer the door to strangers, and then finally, she hung up.

I began to feel a sight shooting pain at the back of my head; I began to feel thankful I wore my glasses instead of my contacts; it would have been hell to get them out in my condition.

"Cassie?" I turned to see Matt and his friends at the doorway.

"Yeah?" I asked suspiciously, assessing their innocent faces.

Matt looked at me with a hope face, "Can you play the Nintendo wii with us?"

I internally groaned. There went my few hours of rests.

A couple of hours later and I felt like shit.

My head hurt. My body hurt. Everything hurt.

I was lying on the couch when I heard the doorbell ring and sent Matt to open it. It was probably Justin.

Matt came back into the living room, an Edward in tow. All three of the monster-boys stared at Edward with their mouths open; I prayed to God I didn't look that pathetic.

As soon as Edward's molten gold eyes found me, they filled with concern.

"Are you alright?" his musically enchanting voice was wondrous to my ears. I nodded, unable to find my voice.

He wore casual dark blue jeans and an even darker shade of blue shirt; I wondered for a moment what it would be like to be Edward's clothes. My heart rate picked up at the thought.

Edward walked over to me, lying sprawled on the couch; his cool fingers brushed some hair away from my forehead.

"I thought I wasn't going to see you till Monday." I obviously had found my voice, but it was no more than a whisper.

He smiled crookedly, and my God, it was beautiful. "I couldn't let you endure that horror film all by yourself." He said it lightly, but I detected a hit of worry in his harmonious voice.

Returning his smile, in what I hoped was a non-idiotic manner, I said, "That was very heroic of you."

Amusement danced playfully in his eyes. Oh shit, he knew I was trying to flirt.

There was a discreet cough somewhere back on Earth, but I chose to ignore it.

Sadly, Edward didn't.

He put space between our bodies – I had no idea we had gotten so close – sitting at the opposite end of the couch beside my stripy-coloured sock feet.

"Do you need some cough sweets?" I asked Matt, who was undoubtedly the "cougher".

My baby brother smiled sweetly at me. "Can you order the pizza now?"

My eyes narrowed. "What toppings would you like?"

Matt's eyebrow's rose in return. "The meat-lover,"

My expression must have changed because he hastily added, "Please?"

I looked over at Andy and Simon, who have yet to recover the so-sudden appearance of the delicious Edward Cullen.

"You guys ok with that?"

Simon uttered an almost inaudible yes, while green-eyes just nodded, those eyes hostile as they glared balefully at Edward.

Shock filled me at the clear hatred in those so-young eyes; I sent a questioning look in Edward's direction. His glorious face remained emotionless, yet his liquid gold eyes were troubled.

"Why don't you lot carry on playing?" I forced the lightness into my voice, setting myself in to a sitting position before I most ungracefully rose from the leather couch.

"You coming Edward?" I asked lightly, my forced tone was like nails on a chalk bored against the riding tension that filled the atmosphere.

Edward nodded but said nothing; his eyes still intent on little Andy, after a moment, golden eyes were the first to look away from green, and silently Edward rose gracefully to his feet.

I lead the way to the kitchen, a now brooding and silent Edward in tow. Questions bubbled and boiled in me, demanding release to discover some answers. Why did one of Matt's friends hate Edward so much? What I did know was that Edward was not going to tell me.

I leaned against the kitchen worktop, turning towards Edward.

"Your not going to tell me what all that was about, are you?"

Emotionless eyes studied me for a moment before answering.

"No," he said at last, "It's not my place."

I sighed in frustration, making Edward's eyebrows rise and lips curve in amusement. "Then whose place is it?"

Perfectly sculpted lips of Adonis smiled playfully at me, while melted gold shone through dark lashes.

"If I told you," he said, taking a step closer towards me, "that would be giving everything away." He was millimetres away from me, I literally could count every one of his lashes, and I could play dot-to-dot with the dark-brown flecks in his amber eyes.

This close, I could see the perfect structure of his jaw, strong and slightly curved, I got the impression that he was incredibly

stubborn. I found myself touching that very jaw; the tips of my fingers barely brushed the defined curve.

Touching Edward skin was like touching marble: cold, smooth and hard. But under my touch I saw guarded eyes soften into something loving and tender, his skin maybe cold and hard, but his molten eyes were warm and soft. The back of Edward's fingers mimicked my action, cool and marble-like, they gently brushed from my temple to my jaw, before moving their way down towards the base of my throat.

I couldn't repress a shiver. My throat was one of the warmest places in my body, and to have such cold hand touch it sent Goosebumps tingling everywhere. I liked it very much.

If Edward could hear the irregular stutter of my heart, he made no sign of it, he seemed to be ignoring my breathlessness as well, because there was no amount of air on this planet that would save me from Edward's intoxicating presence.

"Edward?" I found myself asking, only my voice didn't seem like my own, it was far too breathless and low.

"Mmhh?" he continued to explore my collarbone, his voice implied that I had dragged him away from a long train of thoughts.

I inhaled deeply, feeling my heart echo against my chest. Gently, I lifted his jaw to meet my eyes.

"What do I smell like to you?" I asked beautiful golden eyes that were once so guarded and troubled, that now were open and tender.

I watched Edward's mouth open and close and then open again, lost for words.

I knew this was a tender topic, an almost low blow for me to pull, I could see Edward's discomfort and I shook my head.

"Edward, you don't have to answer that."

Edward looked at me intensely for a moment, his molten eyes searching for some answer in the depths of my own, whatever he found, it gave him strength to carry on.

Taking a deep breath, he answered. "To me, you smell like sweetened fruits. Like…strawberries and…" he paused, his expression thoughtful. "the best way to describe it would be like chocolate – maybe toffee or syrup– but you have that rich-like scent…"

Edward broke off, looking sheepish, his hand still resting at the hollow of my throat. You know, you kind of get use to the coldness, and I have always preferred the cold…

"What are you thinking, Cassandra?" the melodic whisper of Edward floated through my thoughts like an autumn leaf in the soft breeze.

"Besides the fact that you keep calling me Cassandra?" my voice was low to match Edward's, although I doubt it had the same effect, mine was more like a chain smoker with tar-infused lungs.

I watched in fascination as the perfect curve of his lip formed a heartbreaking smile, divine beauty, thy name is Edward Cullen.

"Your hands," I smiled back, covering his hand that sent the pulse in my throat racing with my own. "They're cold."

The next thing I knew was that I was holding thin air, the absence of Edward's cold hand suddenly made my whole body chill. My heart almost broke when I saw guarded eyes looking wearily into my own. I feel a mood coming on.

"But," I said lightly. "You know what they say about people with cold hands."

Before my very eyes, I saw Edward's face transform. It was like when the sun rises, the fist warm rays shed light and promise of a new day, or a chance for me to stop acting so insensitive.

"No," Edward's smile back in place, his eyes alight once more. "What do they say about people with cold hands?"

I grinned back, " "cold hands, warm heart." Or so, my Nan always says."

"My heart is as cold as my hands." Mr. Moody Vampire sighed, the light in his eyes dimming. "It happens, when you don't have a heartbeat."

Oh God. I rolled my eyes. "I meant figuratively." Tilting my head back to have a better look at Edward, who may I point out, is ridiculously tall. "Cheer up, sunshine." I smiled, watching the kitchen light dance in his bronze hair, turning strands gold and copper.

As Edward chuckled, I caught a glimpse of perfect, pearly-white teeth. "That's twice you have said that." He coiled a stray lock of my hair around his finger, "Why?"

I chewed my bottom lip and Edward's gaze wandered towards my action, a look of pure fascination and wonder. "A lot of the time, you seem to be upset or in a bad mood," I confessed, not meeting his eyes.

There was a short pause; I stole a glance at Edward.

"Your wearing glasses." It wasn't a question.

I felt heat rise up, no doubt colouring my face a lovely shade of pink. I'm not ugly when I wear glasses, but in my opinion, I think I look better using contacts.

"Yeah." I made a face. "I know I don't look – "

"You look beautiful." I froze; Edward had said it so matter-of-factly that it threw me off guard. My dad had always called me his beautiful little girl, and my mother sometimes joked that she was incapable of producing and ugly child. But this was different; this was having divine beauty it's self, stand in front of you, look you in the eye and make you feel like you were the most special, beautiful, important girl in the whole world. Bit melodramatic isn't it? But no matter how cliché it sounds, that's how I felt. Those golden eyes made me feel like I was the most precious thing they have seen. This was the kind of moment I read in romance books, seen in films. This _was_ the moment when Edward would gather me in his arms and kiss me.

But of course, this is the moment when the front door opens and Justin's voice calls, "Cass? What's for dinner?"

I gritted my teeth together, what is it with my family and ruining my moments? Edward had already stepped away from me, and the same troubled look he wore when he saw Andy reappeared.

Justin appeared at the kitchen doorway, two heads in tow. One was Tom – this was starting to get stalker-ish – the other was slightly older, maybe nineteen, twenty tops, with black hair, which was striking in comparison with his pale skin. He was tall and muscular – almost like Emmett, only taller and leaner legs. But none of these features is what makes this boy different, no, it was the fact that his left eye was a startling shade of blue, while the right was a hazel green, kind of like Tom's and maybe…Andy.

All three boy's expression's hardened when they saw Edward, who returned their looks with equal dislike, but Edward seemed to directed it towards the funny-eyed-guy.

"We're ordering in pizza." I was once again the icebreaker. Lucky me.

All eyes turned to me, as if just remembering I was there.

"And we're watching a movie." I added, hoping they would get the hint and go away.

"What kind of movie?" Justin's posture had relaxed a little, but was noticeable compared to the two behind.

I winced at the thought. "The Exorcist." I hated that stupid film.

Justin grinned. "And you're watching it?" He said with disbelief. I shot a quick glance at Edward; he had said he would watch it, hadn't he? If he was going to back out on me now, I would be screwed.

Edward smiled encouragingly at me, seeing the question in my eyes. "Yeah, I am."

Justin shook his head. "You watched a bit of it on youtube, and had to sleep with mum and dad for about a week, and even after that, you had to sleep with the light on, for like a month."

Trust him to remember.

I felt my cheeks burn again, and the room suddenly felt really hot, in an uncomfortable kind of way.

I shrugged, trying not to be embarrassed. "I'll be fine."

"Whatever."

Justin turned and walked away, probably off to annoy Matt and his friends. Tom hesitated, unsure whether he should say or follow, he chose the latter, which left funny-eyes who seemed to be ignoring Edward completely.

"I'm Hunter." He announced in a deep rumble, walking towards me with an offered hand.

I stared down at his hand unwilling to shake it, but did anyway. It somehow felt disloyal, since he and Edward didn't seem like the best of friends. His hand was warm and rough, worker's hands as my dad would say, you can tell a lot of a person by his hands.

"Cassie." I smiled slightly, before dropping out of his firm grip.

I looked over at Edward, who was leaning against the kitchen worktop, arms crossed, his face impassive.

There was an awkward silence, like no one either didn't know what to say or just didn't want to.

Hunter turned to Edward, his expression mirroring his. "Edward." He said in a polite tone that implied anything of the sort. Edward nodded stiffly in acknowledgement, but didn't say a word.

Hunter paused, debating what he should do next. He smiled at me, his look lingering a little to long for both Edward's and my liking. Edward muttered something under his breath, or I think he did, because I only saw his lips move very slightly, and I was sure no sound came out. Hunter shot a glare at Edward then stormed out the kitchen in silence. That was weird.

I gave Edward a questioning look. "What's his problem?" I asked as I got the house phone and went in search of a pizza leaflet.

"Us?"

I glanced up from the junk mail filled draw to look at Edward. "What did you say?"

Edward sighed and bent his head to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"He doesn't like me being near you. None of them do."

I felt anger boil, this wasn't anyone else's business, why should they care that I spend time with Edward? Its not like they know or anything…

"They know don't they?" I asked, feeling a cold feeling of dread wash over me. "About your family?"

Edward nodded, but remained silent refusing to look up and meet my eyes.

"Edward…" I began, wanting to tell him something, _anything_ that would make him feel better.

"Cass," Justin called from the sitting room. "are you ordering that pizza or what?"

I sighed and resumed my search for the pizza leaflet, Edward helped me, and we didn't say a word as we did.

I found the leaflet, well, actually, Edward did and had ordered and paid for the pizza.

We were all in the sitting room, Matt and his friends sat cross-legged on the floor, wolfing down their slices of pizza. Justin, Tom and Hunter took up the three-seater couch, looking like a bigger version of Matt and co.

Both Edward and me sat on the two-seater; I had my feet up on the couch, nibbling my pizza. Fear of the up-coming film clawed at my gut, I didn't eat much.

No one noticed that Edward didn't eat, or if they did, they never mentioned it. Once they were finished, I cleared up and began to serve out ice cream – don't worry, not my Ben and jerry's, but the ice cream that came free with the pizzas. As we settled down to watch the film, Justin turned to me.

"Now, are you _sure_ you want to watch this, Cass?" he asked, a big grin on his face, blue eyes twinkling.

My heart was thundering against my ribcage, but I nodded, forcing my eyes to remain on the TV.

And so it began…

"Is it over yet?" I heard an ominous scream from the TV, but refused to look from behind my cushion, my hand gripping Edward's to hard it would have broken bones on anyone else.

"She's doing the spider-walk down the stairs!" Justin called gleefully, laughing.

I tried to cover my ears, "Shut up!" I cried, trying to block out the image, this was the part I saw from youtube, the one that gave me nightmares, right along side the part where she twists her head right round. Everyone laughed, I don't know whether at the movie, or me my guess is at me. Edward gently squeezed my hand, I peeked over at him, careful not to look at the film. The lights were of, and from the glow of the TV, Edward pale skin looked almost blush-ish white, his hair was a dark shade of brown that could be black. I smiled reassuringly, letting him know that I was ok, even though I was anything but. His answering smiled made my heart do a funny stutter, which made him raise his eyebrow in return.

There was another scream, making me jump.

I threw my arms around Edward and burrowed my head into his chest before I realised what I was doing.

Cold arms surrounded me, and I rested my head against the place where Edward's heartbeat should be.

"When is it over?" I mumbled in a low voice.

"Soon." Edward whispered, his hands making soothing circles on my back. I don't know whether he was telling the truth or was just saying that to comfort me, either way, I felt my body begin to relax, tuning out the screams and other horror-filled noises. I closed my eyes and slowly began to loose consciousness.

"The movie is over now." I felt a cool breath tickle my ear; I sighed and snuggled closer. I heard Edward laugh quietly; the soft vibrations gently rocked me.

"Just pour some cold water over her." A distant and familier voice said evilly.

I groaned, opening my eyes. "If you dare…" I warned, sitting up and rubbing the funny sand-dust from my eyes.

Everyone was looking at me, well, not everyone, Matt and his friends were missing.

I began to stretch my arms to shake off the sleep. "Where's the munchkins?" I yawed, leaning back against the sofa.

Justin poked me, "Bed." He muttered. "Where you should be."

I stiffed another yawn. "Yes, mum." I turned to look at Edward, "I'll see you out."

Edward nodded and once again rose gracefully, offering me his hand. Placing my hand in his, Edward guided me to the door, still holding my hand. I walked Edward to his car; it was a clear night with a crescent moon that promised a clear and sunny day tomorrow.

"Edward?" I heard myself asking, my voice lost in the dark silence.

"Yes Cassandra?" Edward turned to me, gold eyes shimmering through the darkness.

Him and that damn name. I bit my lip; glad that my blush would be less noticeable. "Will you say tonight?" I asked; there was a note of desperation in my voice. "Please?"

Edward smiled and opened his car door, "I'll be back before you go to your room." He promised, getting in.

I smiled in relief. "So, I guess I really don't have to say goodbye, then?"

"No," Edward smiled back, in his trademark crooked smiled that made my heart wobble. "You don't.

I watched as Edward reverse and was soon swallowed up by the shadows. When I was sure there was no chance of seeing him, I went back inside.

Justin had brought down his mattress, placing it in the middle of the living room floor. Both Tom and Justin were lying at opposite ends of the mattress; both wore a goofy kind of grin.

Hunter was lying on the three-seater, his hands behind his head, looking much like he owned the place.

I went to the linen closet under the stairs; I repressed a shiver when an image of tonight's earlier film popped into my head.

I came back with a spare pillow and blanket in my hands, tossing it over to Hunter.

"There's more under the stairs, if you need some." I felt his two-coloured eyes on me, this time I couldn't repress a shiver.

"G'night then." I waved at them, receiving a chorus of "Good night" and "Night Cass."

As I climbed the stairs, tiredness took over. I had to force myself to put one foot in front of the other or I would be sleeping on the stairs tonight.

When I finally made it to my room, I paused. Edward did say he would be there by the time I got up? I nibbled my bottom lip and slowly opened the door.

My room was empty.

A tidal wave of disappointment crashed over me, I blinded back the tears that clouded my vision.

Numbly, I walked over to my bed – I hadn't the heart to change into bedclothes, but I was wearing a tracksuit, so it didn't matter.

My mind was on autopilot because I don't remember cocooning the blanket around myself or allowing the tears to fall. No, seriously, what is it about Edward that really makes me cry?

I felt something cold touch my cheek and wipe away a warm tear.

"I'm sorry." Edward mumbled in my hair, wrapping his arms around me. "Emmett wanted to talk to me about our hunt tomorrow."

I opened my eyes to see Edward looking ashamed, his hand still resting on my cheek.

I shook my head. "It's ok," My voice was stained, almost a croak. "I overreacted."

I felt Edward's cool sweet breath as he sighed, "I'm sorry," he repeated, voice full of anguish. "I should have left Emmett until the morning."

I snuggled closer towards him, feeling his arms tighten. "Edward, it's ok." I insisted, feeling my eyes drop. "I'm kind of crazy when I need to sleep."

I felt the rumbled through Edward's chest as he laughed. "Crazy?" he asked.

"Yeah," I smiled, "I can make vampires look cuddly in the mornings."

I heard Edward sigh and felt something cold brush my forehead. His lips?

Then he began to hum a beautiful melody, words inside my head floated to me as if he sang them.

You are my need, my thirst,

_You are my angel on earth,_

_I am the darkness, while you are _

_The light,_

_You are the light, the grace_

_You are the smile in my face_

_I tried to be everything you_

_Are_

_You are beauty, my heart_

_I am the end, you the start_

_If only I could be what you_

_Deserve_

I slowly began to drift, Edward's song brought tears to my eyes, but I was asleep before I could shed them.


End file.
